Enough Already: government of the crooked, by the crooked, for the crooked
The Hate That Dare Not Speak Its Name: why wing nuts don't dig Harriet Miers
Is That What They're Calling It Now? Condoleezza Rice on 'Dual Piano'

GOVERNMENT OF THE CROOKED, BY THE CROOKED, FOR THE CROOKED

Why is it that the thieves, swindlers, racketeers, fraudsters and other random leeches on society are still behind desks in Washington not behind bars? How much longer until one of the greasy bastards goes down? How much longer is their left for the government that breaks laws faster than it can dream up new ones? FDR had the new deal, GW has the new steal. Beware: Republicans are still free.

(top)

Words to live by:
"DEMOCRACIES ARE PEACEFUL COUNTRIES"

Thus said GW to the assembled press corps on Sunday, October 16, inspired by the unexpectedly low suicide bomber turn-out for the recent Iraqi elections. But what about America, the world's democratic role model, George? You started two wars and we had 9-11 on your watch. This place seems none too peaceful nor too democratic to me.

(top)

THE HATE THAT DARE NOT SPEAK ITS NAME

When El Presidente announced he was nominating Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court on October 3, there was an unexpected "Hell no" reaction from the normally "Yessum" conservative crowd. Even crazy bitch Coulter – the foamiest dog in the rabid Bushista pack – turned against him. Harriet Miers: one putsch too far for Bush.

[Above: During a power ramble with Harriet Miers at Chateau Crawford, GW launches a spontaneous Village People disco point after being overcome by the gayness of this photo opp.]

For the first time ever Coulter said something I agreed with (and, yes, I am receiving counseling). "Harriet Miers isn't qualified to play a Supreme Court justice on 'The West Wing,' let alone to be a real one" slurred the she-devil recently. She's right (God forgive me). Six out ten Republican senators on the Judiciary Committee also echoed Coulter in opposing Miers' nomination. But, considering the Bush administration is jam-packed with unqualified morons from the top job down, why were they suddenly getting wild hares up their asses about it now? Could it possibly be that behind the smoke screen, the oh-so-moral cuntservatives suspected that this never-married sixty year old could, perhaps, be a lesbian?

The entire legislative apparatus of the United States, at every branch and level, has become nothing more than an anti-gay machine under El Presidente. And that's just the way the neocons want to keep it. The last thing they wanted to risk was a gay supreme court judge. A judge who salutes the rainbow flag, however sneakily, might well stand in the way of their retarded crusade against all things sodomite in God's chosen land. This is why Miers was not liked.

But to openly oppose her nomination on the grounds of ambiguous sexual orientation would have been straight-up discrimination (even pinheads like Coulter, with low/no verbal barriers understood that) and would have shown the neocons up for the bigoted headbangers they really are. So, as usual, they lied to get what they wanted. Welcome to your democracy in action.

(top)

DUAL PIANO? IS THAT WHAT THEY'RE CALLING IT NOW?

[Above: Doctor Rice-enstein demonstrates her broad range of facial expressions both literally and quantitively.]

If you were watching 'Fox and Friends' on September 27, you may have wondered how much weirder the world could get [story]. It seemed like nothing out of the ordinary to begin with – there was a turgid interview with Condoleezza Rice about Haitian elections live from Port-au-Prince and a brief pop at Iran lest we forget – but then it all went Dali-shaped. F(oxymoron) News correspondent James Rosen went spectacularly off-topic by attempting to pimp his co- anchor, Lauren Green, out to the allegedly lesbotic secretary of state. The former Miss Minnesota is "single" and "beautiful," gushed Rosen as he urged Rice to get in touch with her. The pitch went like this:

ROSEN: All right. I close with a gift for you. You met this person once, I believe, but you really, I think, ought to know each other because this woman is, I think you'll have an interest in knowing her. She is one of our Fox News anchors in New York. Her name is Lauren Green. She is brilliant, she's beautiful, she's African- American, she's single and she's a concert pianist in her spare time.

RICE: My goodness.

ROSEN: And she asked me to give you her CD, and I promised her that I would.

RICE: That's perfect.

ROSEN: And here's her doing a number of different classical pieces.

RICE: Well, that's special.

ROSEN: So there you have it.

RICE: Thank her very much, and I look forward to seeing her sometime.

ROSEN: All right. She's going to want to hear from you.

RICE: And maybe even play dual piano sometime.

Phew! She might as well have said "have her washed and brought to my tent." Of course, I'm still of the opinion that Rice only has (cruel and steely) eyes for Bubba Bush. Perhaps someone should tell Rosen.

(top)

GREAT PIONEERS OF NEOCON THOUGHT #19

"All, all is theft, all is unceasing and rigorous competition in nature; the desire to make off with the substance of others is the foremost - the most legitimate - passion nature has bred into us and, without doubt, the most agreeable one."

Marquis De Sade

Back Pages

Fried Wire Policy and Disclaimer | Hatemail | Hmm... | Fanmail