"I am angry that so many of the sons of the powerful and well-placed... managed to wangle slots in Reserve and National Guard units...Of the many tragedies of Vietnam, this raw class discrimination strikes me as the most damaging to the ideal that all Americans are created equal and owe equal allegiance to their country."
(Colin Powell's autobiography, My American Journey, p. 148)

"Military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy."
Henry Kissinger (as quoted in "The Final Days", Woodward and Bernstein, chapter 14)

HELL NO! YOU CAN GO!

Welcome to the Web's most thorough chicken hawk database of current senators, prominent Republican politicians and other famous prowar conservatives. All have advocated for war, while none have seen active service. (In the interests of fairness, see also Current Republican senators who have seen active service.)

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

Abrams, Eliot, Did not serve.
Convicted of lying to Congress about the Iran/Contra affair, now a National Security Council staffer. (How many of these crooked bastards would actually be in jail, as opposed to in high office, if they were subject to the same laws and moral standards as the rest of us?)

Ailes, Roger, Faux News Fuehrer. Did not serve.

Alexander, Lamar (R - TN) Vanderbilt University and New York University Law School during Vietnam era. Did not serve

Allard, Wayne (R - CO) Doctorate of Veterinary Medicine from Colorado State University during Vietnam era. Did not serve.

Allen, George (R - VA) Did not serve.

Armey, Dick, Former House Majority Leader (R-TX) Avoided the draft, did not serve.
Famous for referring to Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank as "Barney Fag" and his opinion that certain religions are "not real religions." Also believes that Palestinians living in the West Bank should be removed. Makes Karl Rove seem like Albert Schweitzer.

Ashcroft, John, Former Witchfinder General (R) Did not serve - academic deferments.
Seven (count 'em) deferments to study and teach Business during the Vietnam era. Probably too busy with his personal war on Beelzebub.

(top)

Bauer, Gary, Republican think-tanker (R) Did not serve.
This former joke presidential candidate and "ouramericanvalues.org" nobhead got a 1-Y draft classification for an undisclosed physical problem (he is technically a sideshow midget).

Bennett, Bill,
(R - UT) Former Secretary of Education (R) Did not serve - academic deferment.
Chairman of Americans for Victory over Terrorism and, laughably, the author of "Why We Fight: Moral Clarity and the War on Terrorism," recently re-released and updated in (easier to wipe your ass on) paperback.

Bond, Christopher (R - MO) Princeton University, University of Virginia Law School. Assistant attorney general of Missouri during Vietnam era. Did not serve.

Bloomberg, Michael, Republican New York Mayor and billionaire. Did not serve.

Blunt, Roy, House Majority Whip (R-MO) Did not serve - academic deferment.
His BA in history was, presumably, of paramount national importance. Fought valiantly for Bush’s $1.35 trillion tax cut according to his homepage biography.

Bolton, John, Arms Control adviser to the Bush Administration (R) Did not serve.
Mustachioed freak accused of coercing his wife into wife swinger orgies and Chimpy's best choice for UN Ambassador in 2004.

Bodmon, Samuel W.,
Secretary of Energy. Did not serve.

Bremer III, Louis Paul, Did not serve - academic deferment.
After entering the diplomatic service in 1966, his career highlight was to serve as Deputy Ambassador to Norway from 1976 to 1979. This background, coupled with his ability to speak French, Dutch, and Norwegian, made him ideally suited for the job of heading the Provisional Coalition Authority (CPA) in occupied Iraq.

Brownback, Sam (R - KS) Did not serve. Too young for Vietnam, served Daddy Bush Administration during first Gulf War. Opposes embryonic stem cell research, gay marriage, and abortion (which he once likened to the Holocaust). Favors capital punishment and is still a big favorite of conservative Christians despite getting busted for accepting dirty money from Jack Abramoff, a lobbyist accused of defrauding Native American tribes.

Buchanan, Pat, Former Republican presidential aspirant and Reform Party Candidate Did not serve - medical deferment.
A handy 4-F for a bad knee, but an avid jogger to this day. Famous for his forthright opinions such as: "...Hitler was also an individual of great courage, a soldier's soldier in the Great War, a political organizer of the first rank..." (Patrick Buchanan, Chicago Tribune, August 25, 1977)

Bunning, Jim (R - KY) Hall of Fame pitcher in Major League Baseball from 1955 to 1971. Did not serve.

Bush, George W., Generalissimo (R-TX) No active service. Beer-bonged through Vietnam in the Texas Air National Guard thanks to Daddy. AWOL after mandatory drug testing was introduced in 1972.

Burns, Conrad (R - MT) No active service. Although posted to Vietnam while serving in the Marine Corps, he was eight years early for the war. In September, 2005, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington named Burns one of the thirteen most corrupt members of Congress.

Burr, Richard (R - NC) Did not serve.

Bush, Jeb, Florida Governor (R-FL) Did not serve.

(top)

Card, Andrew "Andy", Chief of Staff (R) Did not serve.
Was the "the automotive industry’s main voice." Proved his devotion to humanity by lobbying the government against stricter fuel emissions standards and testifying against the Passengers' Bill of Rights. No fighting though

Chafee, Lincoln (R - RI) Did not serve. Studied Classics and captained the Brown University wrestling team (the most homoerotic combo in academia?) during Vietnam era.

Chambliss, Saxby, (R-GA) Did not serve - medical deferment.
A bad knees 4-F prevented military service but did not curb this lying prick's passion for running. Chambliss defeated Max Cleland (who left three limbs behind in Vietnam) in the Georgia Senatorial race. His gentlemanly campaign, courtesy of Rove, featured ads comparing the limb depleted war hero to Saddam Hussein.

Cheney, Dick, Vice President (R-WY) Did not serve. Cited "other priorities." Several deferments, the last by marriage.

Chertoff, Michael, Secretary of Homeland Security. Did not serve.
His White House bio says: "As United States Attorney, Chertoff investigated and prosecuted several significant cases of political corruption, organized crime, and corporate fraud." Those days are clearly behind him now as a member of Bush's cabinet.

Coburn, Tom (R - OK) Did not serve. Former obstetrician-gynecologist once sued for sterilizing a woman without her consent. Famously referred to global warming as "just a lot of crap." As a congressman in the 1990s, Coburn protested NBC's airing of the movie Schindler's List. In his major 'missing the point' outburst, he claimed NBC had taken television "to an all-time low, with full-frontal nudity, violence and profanity" in airing the movie.

Cochran, Thad (R - MS) No active service. United States Navy, 1959-1961, University of Mississippi School of Law during Vietnam era.

Coleman, Norm (R - MN) Did not serve.

Collins, Susan (R - ME) Did not serve.

Cornyn, John (R - TX) Did not serve. Inventor of the 'activist judge' phenomena. After a series of violent attacks and death threats against judges made the news in 2004, he famously remarked that "raw political or ideological decisions" by judges cause "great distress" in many people and wondered aloud if this "distress" was the cause of the violence. Prick.

Cox, Christopher, (R-CA) Did not serve.
Spam faced ex-Reaganite graduated magna cum laude from the University of Southern California in 1973, after completing a three-year accelerated course instead.

Craig, Larry (R - ID) Did not serve. University of Idaho (they have one?) during Vietnam era.

Crapo, Michael (R - ID) Did not serve. Brigham Young University, Harvard University School of Law during Vietnam era.

(top)

Delay, Tom, (R-TX) Avoided the draft - academic deferment.
Graduated from the University of Houston with a degree in Biology. Claimed that he wanted to serve in Vietnam, but was "unable to since all the positions had been taken by blacks and Hispanics." Selfish bastards...

DeMint, Jim (R - SC) Did not serve. University of Tennessee and Clemson University during Vietnam era.

DeWine, Mike (R - OH) Did not serve. Miami University, Ohio Northern University during Vietnam era.

Dole, Elizabeth (R - NC) Did not serve. As Mrs Bob 'Viagra' Dole, she has probably experienced her fair share of horror and deprivation however.

Domenici, Pete (R - NM) Did not serve. Elected to serve Albuquerque City Commission during Vietnam era.

Dornan, Bob, (R-CA) Avoided active service.
Foil-hat Bob called himself a 'shit hot pilot' and claimed to have 'bled for my country'. This is true if knocking yourself out crashing a plane in the Arizona desert during a peacetime training exercise counts. Dornan is, however, keen enough on fighting to have famously punched Democratic Congressman Tom Downey on the floor of the House of Representatives in 1985 for being a 'draft dodging wimp.'

(top)

Engler, John, Governor (R-MI) Did not serve.

Ensign, John (R - NV) Did not serve. Busy running his 24-hour animal hospital in Las Vegas during first Gulf War

Enzi, Michael (R - WY) No active service. Joined Wyoming National Guard back in the days when the National Guard was still a safe bet.

(top)

Feith, Douglas, Undersecretary of Defense for Policy. Did not serve.
Arch-neocon Zionist was once described by General Tommy franks as the "fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth." Maybe best that he didn't enlist then.

Frist, Sen. Bill, Senate Majority Leader (R-TN) Did not serve.
"We simply cannot live in fear of a ruthless dictator, aggressor and terrorist such as Saddam Hussein, who possesses the world's most deadly weapons." (Speech to American Israel Political Action Committee, March 31, 2003). Though he happily sat out the Vietnam War at Princeton thus proving his 'all mouth and trousers' pissant credentials.

(top)

Gaffney, Frank, Republican think-tanker (R) Did not serve.
Works for a Death Star called "The Center for Security Policy" which pimps for the arms industry. Likes the idea of other people dying but not enough to be around it.

Gingrich, Newt,
Former Speaker of the House Avoided the draft, did not serve.
Regrets not going to Vietnam because "he missed something." I guess that's kind of the point.

Giuliani, Rudolph W., Former Republican New York Mayor. Did not serve.

Gonzales, Alberto, Attorney General and torture aficionado.
Gonzales served in the United States Air Force between 1973 and 1975, and attended the United States Air Force Academy between 1975 and 1977. Didn't get to fight anyone though.

Graham, Lindsey, (R-SC) Did not serve.
Busted for claiming to have been a "Operation Desert Shield and Desert Storm Veteran" when, in fact, he sat out the Gulf War as a National Guard lawyer in South Carolina. And he's got a chick's first name.

Gramm, Phil, former Senator (R-TX) Did not serve - academic deferments.
Gregg, Judd, (R-NH) Did not serve - medical Deferment. For... wait for it... acne.
Hastert, Dennis "Denny", Speaker of the House (R-IL) Avoided the draft - medical deferment. Strangely, his bad knee didn't prevent him from joining his college wrestling team.

Grassley, Chuck (R - IA) Did not serve. Member of Iowa House of Representatives from 1959 until 1974, when he was elected to the US House of Representatives.

Gregg, Judd (R - NH) Did not serve. Phillips Exeter Academy, Columbia University during Vietnam era.

Gutierrez, Carlos,
Secretary of Commerce. Did not serve here or in his native Cuba.

(top)

Hatch, Orrin (R - UT) Did not serve. University of Pittsburgh Law School during Vietnam era.

Hastert, Dennis "Denny", Speaker of the House (R-IL) Avoided the draft - medical deferment.
Strangely, his bad knee didn't prevent him from joining his college wrestling team.

Hutchinson, Asa, Under Secretary for Border and Transportation Security (R) Did not serve.

Hutchison, Kay (R - TX) Did not serve.

Hutchinson, Tim, (R-AZ) Did not serve.
A graduate of Bob Jones University, Greenville, S.C., not the jungles of southeast Asia. Failed to get reelected in 2003 and is now senior advisor to law firm Dickstein, Shapiro, Morin and Oshinsky. (Dickstein?)

Hyde, Henry, (R-IL) Did not serve.

(top)

Inhofe, James (R - OK) Did not serve. One year of military service stateside (55-56)

Isakson, Johnny (R - GA) Did not serve. University of Georgia during Vietnam era. Isakson was given an "A" rating by the National Rifle Association, a "Hero of the Taxpayer" award by Citizens Against Government Waste, and a "92" rating on a scale of 100 by the Christian Coalition of America. In other words: über prick.

Issa, Darrell, (R-CA) Kinda served...
Issa spent Vietnam time stateside as a bomb disposal guy. He left under a cloud after stealing a car. "That kid stole my car out of the parking lot and took it to Cleveland, and I knew he did it," said retired 1st Sgt. Jay Bergey.

(top)

Jackson, Alphonso, Secretary of Housing & Development. Did not serve.

Johanns, Mike,
Secretary of Agriculture and former Governor of Nebraska. Did not serve

(top)

Kemp, Jack F., former U.S. Representative (R-NY) Did not serve - athletic deferment.
Kemp spent 13 years in professional football, playing quarterback for the San Diego Chargers and the Buffalo Bills.

Keyes, Alan, no-hope presidential candidate and apoplectic nubian demagogue. Did not serve.

Kissinger, Henry, Nobel Peace Prize winning cloven-hooved affront to humanity
Did not serve. Probably good that he didn't see action in WWII as, being German, it would have been on the other team. Resume highlights include being responsible for more deaths in Cambodia than Pol Pot and being the chief architect of the horror in East Timor. Living proof, at 83, that only the good die young.

Kyl, John, (R-AZ) Did not serve.
As a strident proponent of greater border security and a sworn enemy of illegal immigrants, it would have been a certainty that Kyl would have enlisted once the Vietcong were landing on the beaches of California. His Phi Beta Kappa connections ensured that he was able to pursue his law school education uninterrupted.

(top)

Leavitt, Michael, Secretary of Health & Human Services. Did not serve.

Libby, I. Lewis "Scooter",
Chief of Staff to the Vice President (R) Did not serve - academic deferment - cited "other priorities.
Top suspect in the treasonous outing of CIA operative Valerian Plame. Mastermind behind the terrorism and uranium disinformation stories that helped hasten the Iraq invasion. A hater not a fighter.

Limbaugh, Rush, Lying shitbag and professional sweaty misanthrope (R+) Did not serve. Academic deferment followed by a 1-Y medical deferment for a pilonidal cyst (infected butt hair follicle). Never one to let facts stand in his way, Rush disingenuously dismissed this as "internet B.S." and, rather self-importantly, as "part of popular mythology" on his show in 2002. Fucking twat.

Lott, Trent, (R-MS) Avoided the draft. Served on his college cheerleading squad instead.

Lugar, Richard (R - IN) No active service. Contemporary of Rumsfeld in the peacetime US Navy.

(top)

Martinez, Mel (R - FL) Did not serve. Florida State University College of Law during Vietnam era.

McConnell, Sen. Mitch, Majority Whip, (R-KY) Did not serve - academic deferments.
Attended the University of Kentucky College of Law instead.

McHugh, John M., (R-NY) Avoided the draft, did not serve.

Murkowski, Lisa (R - AK) Did not serve.

(top)

Nickles, Don, (R-OK) No active service. Sat out the tail end of Vietnam in the National Guard.

(top)

O'Reilly, Bill, loud-mouthed, fatuous F(oxymoron) News psycho. Did not serve.

(top)

Pataki, George, Governor (R-NY) Did not serve.

Perle, Richard, former Chairman of the Defense Policy Board (R) Did not serve.
A chief architect of the Iraq disaster. Even Bush insiders nickname him "The Prince of Darkness." As a military expert of zero experience he was well qualified to say: "The Army guys don't know anything. With 40,000 troops, the United States could easily take over Iraq. We don't need anyone else." (USA Today, 9-16-02)

(top)

Quayle, Dan, Poppy Bush's Vice Prez, Did not serve.
You would think the author of 'Worth Fighting For' would have... err... fought for it. You would be wrong. Quayle was safely absorbed into the Indiana National Guard even though it was running at 150% capacity.

(top)

Racicot, Marc, (R-MT) Avoided the draft - academic deferment.
Hid out at college before becoming a (peace-time) military lawyer.

Reagan, Ronald, Dead President (R+) Medical deferment - short sighted.
Although remembered as seeming eager to start WWIII back in the 80s, co-starring with chimps in shit movies was more to Reagan's taste than helping to fight the original Evil Empire in WWII.

Roberts, Pat (R - KS) No active service – U.S. Marine Corps during peacetime.

Rohrabacher, Dana, (R-CA) Did not serve.
"We owe our freedoms to the men and women of the United States Army, and all our armed forces, and a special debt to all those who gave their life when their country called." Fine words, Dana, fine words...

Romney, Mitt, (Former Massachusetts Governor, great smelling possible 2008 presidential nominee) Did not serve.
Romney was able to claim a 4-D deferment back in the 60s and spent 30 months spreading the word of Brigham Young in France while his less privileged contemporaries dodged bullets and booby traps out in 'Nam.

Rove, Karl, (R) Avoided the draft, did not serve.
A 4-F for too pudgy and sinister? For him, the idea of serving his country (as opposed to flushing it down the toilet) was not soo fabulous...

Rumsfeld, Donald, Pus bloated pig's rectum of evil (R) No active service.
Navy flight instructor during a fortuitous stretch of peace between 1955 and 1957.

(top)

Santorum, Sen. Rick, (R-PA), Did not serve.
A current member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, probably because of his vast experience of never having been in the armed forces.

Scalia, Antonin, Supreme Court Justice (R) Did not serve.

Scarborough, Rep. Joseph "Joe", (R-FL) Did not serve.
MSNBC war whore and Bush apologist. Loved Operation Desert Storm. But from afar...

Schwarzenegger, Arnold, California Governor and alleged Anti-Christ (R+) Did not serve.
Grabbed his Speedo and went AWOL from military service in Austria to enter the 1965 Junior Mr. Europe competition. Rumored to be the third Anti-Christ (after Napoleon and Hitler) by people who take David Icke seriously. Although being born in Austria may thwart his political ambitions, being Satan incarnate will probably overqualify him for running as a Republican presidential candidate.

Shelby, Richard, (R-AL) Did not serve.
"Senator Shelby's support for veterans has been unwavering. He believes we must honor our veterans by honoring our commitments to them." (Shelby.Senate.gov) Perhaps many veterans would have preferred a more hands on approach to support back in the 60s?

Simon, Bill, Failed California gubernatorial candidate and Jeezuzing billionaire (R)
Did not serve.

Smith, Gordon (R - OR) Did not serve. Two-year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a course at the University of Southern California during Vietnam era instead.

Snow, John W., Secretary of the Treasury. Did not serve.
Although his White House bio photo makes him look old enough to have fought in the revolutionary war, Snow spent all his available service opportunities safely ensconced in academia. (Is it becoming obligatory for these kiss-ass numbnuts to go with the 'W' middle initial? Is this how Chimpy selects them?)

Snowe, Olympia (R - ME) Did not serve.

Specter, Arlen (R - PA) Did not serve.

Starr, Kenneth W., former Solicitor General and self-styled Clinton nemesis (R)
Did not serve - medical deferment. Got out of Vietnam because he had a rash (4-F for psoriasis).

Sununu, John (R - NH) Did not serve.

(top)

Talent, James (R - MO) Did not serve.

Thomas, Clarence, Supreme Court Justice (R) Did not serve - that handy 4-F thing.

Thune, John (R - SD) Did not serve.

(top)

Vitter, David (R - LA) Did not serve.

Voinovich, George (R - OH) Did not serve.

Warner, John (R - VA) Did not serve.

Watts, J. C., Former Congressman, (R-OK) Did not serve.
In Congress, he manned the Armed Services Committee and was a member of the Military Readiness Subcommittee and the Procurement Subcommittee. Big on the idea of other people fighting.

Weber, John Vincent 'Vin', Former Congressman, (R-MO) Did not serve.
A co-founder of the belligerent Project for a New American Century, but no practical experience of killing foreigners.

Wolfowitz, Paul, Deputy Secretary of Defense Did not serve - academic deferments.
Sat out Vietnam at Cornell University. Principal author of the "Wolfowitz doctrine", also known as the Bush doctrine. Or the chicken shit, neo-fascist doctrine.

(top)

"Americans live in freedom because of our veterans' courage, dedication to duty, and love of country. On Veterans Day, we honor these brave men and women who have served in our Armed Forces and defended our Nation. Across America, there are more than 25 million veterans. Their ranks include generations of citizens who have risked their lives while serving in military conflicts... They have fought for the security of our country and the peace of the world. "

George W Bush, Veterans Day pabulum, 2004

For additional information:
http://www.nhgazette.com/chickenhawks.html
http://www.angelfire.com/ok5/pearly/htmls/gop-pansies.html

Back Pages

Fried Wire Policy and Disclaimer | Hatemail | Hmm... | Fanmail

 



FRIED WIRE
STORE
STILL OPEN

(Buy something
dammit)


T-shirts, bumper
stickers and
other stuff




Please visit my
linking partner
(not in a gay way)
so they'll keep
me listed:




"The Web's Best
Morons Under
One Roof"
so have at it









GREAT PIONEERS OF NEOCON THOUGHT
#10


"My only regret
with Timothy McVeigh
is he did not go to
the New York Times
Building."


Ann 'Shemale' Coulter
(New York Observer,
August 20, 2002)








All non-stolen content
and bad HTML :
© 2004 - 2006 Byte Me