 |
|
|
PRESIDENTS
OF GENIUS
a cut-out-and-keep inspirational
series for the kids
#1: JAMES GARFIELD AND GEORGE W.
BUSH
|
| |
|
|
| |
James
Garfield, 20th president of the United States,
was able to write Latin with one hand while writing
Greek with the other. George W. Bush,
43rd president of the United States, is the only
person ever known to have fallen off a Segway scooter.
(Top)
|
 |
McCAIN
IN THE MEMBRANE
"Those
of us who know McCain or have dealt with him know him to
be the single worst human being any of
us have ever met in the political world – period! He
is nasty. He is rude. He is condescending. He is cruelly sarcastic.
He treats people like dirt."
NewsMax.com
"Hey
look everybody... it's the next president of The United
States!" Was
there ever a time in American political history when an
opposition party was blessed with such
a government of disaster-prone stumblefucks to fight against?
I'm guessing not. Bush is on the ropes at last and the
neocon rats
are jumping ship. Even the mass-media propaganda machine seems
overloaded by the volume and breadth of Bushco's failures -
so much so
that it's no longer able to spin anywhere near fast enough
to make Durr Fuehrer look good any more.
It should be easy work for any half-competent (or even half-conscious)
opposition to finish off the 'conservative revolution' once
and for all
and regain control of congress and the White House in 2008.
All we need now is a half-competent opposition.
While the Democrats stay on snooze - no visible leadership,
no visible opposition, no visible pulse - the GOP geniuses
have smartly outmaneuvered them again. Recognizing that their
former Messiah has morphed
rapidly into an embarrassing liability, the hunt is on for
a new conservative hero. Of course, finding a candidate who
would
not be a massive
turn off to moderate/sane voters was no easy job. But while
the DNC can't even find a leader to please Democratic voters,
the Reps are way ahead of them: John McCain will get the cuntservative
vote by default and, more importantly, he's poised to gain
many of the votes the Democratic party is relying on. According
to a depressing Diageo/Hotline
poll from November last year, a full 31% of Democrats
said they'd be 'somewhat likely' to vote for McCain if he
was running for president. In short, the floating liberals
have been fooled. (Top)
 |
|
McCain
v. Moore
Michael Moore flashes McCain the loser
sign after he referred
to
him as a "disingenuous filmmaker" during his speech at
the 2004 Republican
National Convention.
(story)
|
WHY
JOHN McCAIN SHOULD NEVER BE PRESIDENT:
- McCain,
like Bush, sucks up to the Christian yahoos by voicing
support for teaching intelligent design in schools.
He has said that kids should be exposed to this half-assed
non-science because "all points of view" should
be available to students. Down factor: America
needs more science taught in schools and fewer spurious
'points of view.'
- McCain
was a recipient
of campaign contributions/bribes from Charles
H. Keating Jr's Lincoln Savings and Loan Association. He
was
amongst those censured for "questionable conduct" by
the Department of Justice and the House Ethics Committee
for obstructing investigations into its $3.4 billion collapse
in 1989. Down factor: Please... we've had enough Republican
crooks already.
- McCain
admitted
to offering "military information" in exchange
for special medical treatment while in captivity also does
not endear him to some
ex-POWs. Down factor: He
served his country and had a rough time as a prisoner of
war. But what the hell bearing would this have on his
ability to be president?
- McCain's
five year stay in the Hanoi Hilton did not predispose him
fondly to the Vietnamese people. He once said "I
hate the gooks... I will hate them as long as I live." Down
factor: Would the 13.5 million Americans of Asian descent
be entirely confident
in a 'gook-hating' president's ability to represent them?
- McCain
will be 73 years old in 2008. The Gipper is often cited
as the apogee of presidential senility - and he was
only 69 when he got elected. This is America - not the Soviet
Union. Are we angling for a gerontocracy? Down factor: Old
as dirt.
- McCain
once sent birthday
greetings and regrets for not attending
the party of Joseph "Joe Bananas" Bonano, the
head of the New York Bonano crime family, after he retired
to Arizona. Down factor: We don't want a president who sucks up to the Mafia. These
days, the President is the Mafia, dumbass.
- McCain
tactfully
divorced
his wife Carol after she was crippled in a car
wreck to hook up with the attractive
and
wealthy Cindy
Hensley.
In addition to being able-bodied,
the fact that she was the daughter of millionaire Arizona
beer baron Jim Hensley didn't hurt either. Down
factor: Tacky machinations
and terminal inability to keep dick in pants.
- McCain
graduated from the United States Naval Academy 894th out
of a class of 899. Haven't we had enough special ed presidents
already? Down factor: May be dumb as rock. (Top)
|
|
PRESIDENTS
OF GENIUS
a cut-out-and-keep inspirational
series for the kids
#2: THOMAS JEFFERSON AND GEORGE W.
BUSH
|
| |
|
|
| |
Thomas
Jefferson, third president of The United
States, was also an agriculturalist, horticulturist,
architect, etymologist, archaeologist, mathematician,
cryptographer, surveyor, paleontologist, author,
lawyer, inventor, violinist, and the founder of the
University of Virginia. George W. Bush,
43rd president of the United States, has a daddy.
(Top)
|
|
GREAT
PIONEERS OF NEOCON THOUGHT #28
"Why
is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is
Janet Reno."
John
McCain
Back
Pages
Fried
Wire Policy and Disclaimer | Hatemail | Hmm... | Fanmail |
|
