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Hail
To The Thief: can the GOP still count
on the Amish vote in 2008?
Give Peace a Fighting Chance: Republicans
against war?
HAIL
TO THE THIEF!
WHO WE HAVE CHOSEN FOR THE NATION,
HAIL TO THE THIEF!
WE SALUTE HIM ONE AND ALL...
...well
at least we still do here in the 1800s.
(2004
Bush election rally in Lititz, Pennsylvania)
I'm
not intending to start an Amish fatwa against myself.
But what the hell... how many of them would have an Internet
connection anyway? With Bush's approval ratings slipping
below Nixon's at the height of Watergate, at least the
GOP can count on the Amish vote. Is the picture above
documentary evidence that Karl Rove gets high? Imagine
the Bush staff meeting back in the summer of 2004:
ROVE:
Mr President, you're neck-and-neck with Kerry in the
polls. We need to swing opinion our way some more to
get this thing in the bag.
BUSH: What would you suggest, gentle Turd Blossom?
ROVE: We need to reach out, exploit the grassroots, the religious fundamentalists,
the reactionaries and the rural conservatives...
BUSH: But, Karl, you've played those suckers to death — ain't you
got nothing new?
ROVE: Err... (inhale) Anabaptists? No. Pentecostals? No. Mormons? No...
(exhale) Got it! The fucking Amish! Those sumbitches'll believe anything...
BUSH: Pack
yer panties, Karl, we're going to Transylvania! (top)
"My
political philosophy is based on the premise that you
can fool some of the people all the time — and
I intend to concentrate on those people."
George W Bush (as quoted by Peter G. Peterson in "Running
on Empty")
GIVE
PEACE A FIGHTING CHANCE
In
an obscure parallel Universe, a bunch of hippy radical
peaceniks make the case for peace and express their
distrust of the President.
Fried Wire is in full agreement with the sentiments
they express — with just one reservation.
"You
can support the troops but not the president."
"American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration
is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy."
"I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is
often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that
lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives
and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered.
There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no
legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep.
There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our over-extended
military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are
at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this
thing, and there still is no plan today"
(Tom Delay)
"Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going
to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years."
(Joe Scarborough)
"Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may
come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?"
(Sean Hannity)
"The President is once again releasing American military might on
a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has
yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed
our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These
strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy."
(Rick Santorum)
"If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they
have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy."
(Karen Hughes, Bush spokesperson)
" I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning...I didn't
think we had done enough in the diplomatic area."
(Trent Lott)
"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain
to us what the exit strategy is."
(George W. Bush)
Unfortunately,
these opportunistic, fly-by-night foes of conflict are
not referring to Iraq - not even Parallel Universe Iraq
- these were their measured responses to Bill Clinton's
announcement that he was sending troops to Bosnia in
1995.
And, of course, there are vital differences between Clinton's war and the Iraq
war that these peace lovers support:
War #1: achieved it's purpose of bringing peace to Bosnia,
put the war criminals on trial and resulted in zero (count 'em) US troops
dead. This was all done in accordance with UN resolutions and with the support
of most of the world.
War #2: has cost 2,000 US troops dead,
brought more suffering to what was already the planet's
shittiest place to live and has achieved zero (count 'em)
of its publicly stated objectives. Bush's special-ed crusaders
have raised a giant finger to the UN and the rest of the
world from day one.
Remember that "Kerry is a flip-flopper" bullshit last year? Republicans:
you gotta love their rock solid, non-flip-floppery. (top)
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GREAT
PIONEERS OF NEOCON THOUGHT #14
"So
anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your
nipples really
hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the
other
hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your pussy but you'd
have
to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..."
Bill O'Reilly,
as quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against
him by F(oxymoron) News producer Andrea Mackris
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