War Hacks, Hags and Zombie Plebs

War Hacks, Hags and Zombie Plebs: the neo con rolls on and on...
Prowar v. Antiwar: two sides to every story?
Bin Laden found: eat your hearts out CIA...
Media Pinhead of the Week: Fried Wire's favorite media blowhards
Tom Hoefling Googled

WAR HACKS, HAGS AND ZOMBIE PLEBS:
THE NEO CON ROLLS ON AND ON...

When I was a kid TV channels could be counted on the fingers of one hand. I hated the news because it amounted to nothing more than a slab of boredom getting in the way of Spiderman and Hong Kong Fooey. I always wished there was no news. Now I realize we should be careful what we wish for. Long, long ago, when journalists actually gave a nod to integrity and people watched the news to find stuff out, I was too young to appreciate living in an informed society. Now I'm too old to appreciate living in a News-free society and it sucks.

The pixelated idiots yelling from the large box in the corner of my living room today seem more interested in persecuting the innocent, feeding their own dysfunctional egos and dumping on the powerless. They jump on every cynical pronouncement from GOP central like it's the last crumb on the crack house floor, while meticulously queering anything anybody else has to say. How the hell can any of this never-ending bitch-fest be considered 'news'? In what fucked-up world is a neocon sociopath mouthing off about his personal dislikes considered worthy of broadcast on any channel with 'news' in its name? If these cynical, lying pricks are journalists, then there must be millions of 10th grade proto-bitches spreading gossip in school corridors all over the country in line for Pulitzer prizes.

Recently, the outraged whines of the media castrati regarding Cindy Sheehan have been echoing through the media realms like the screeching of Bush's flying monkeys. But, if we listen very, very carefully, we actually hear... nothing. Nothing but the cock crows of multitudinous media hacks who wouldn't know professional ethics from the holes in their asses from where their stories emerge, dutifully sticking up for El Presidente. And sure enough, the zombie plebs respond with hatred for Cindy Sheehan and any voice that dares to doubt the creed of Presidential infallibility.

The current social climate (more inclement than high summer in the Namib Desert) makes it way more attractive for a war hack to lash out at Sheehan than it would be for them to start pondering the impolitic questions she has come to symbolize. Why irritate an establishment that nourishes and indulges them? Why risk alienating the viewers with any content that may cause thinking? And so the meaningless wedge-issues and lies continue to dominate the streams of toxic output as the real wrongdoers continue to wrongdo with a bravado born of total immunity.

Truth is now a subjective commodity and no one seems to remember the difference between 'opinion' and 'lie' any more. Thanks to years of GOP conditioning, truth is any old crap that is repeated frequently enough and loudly enough. We have an extremist Republican government, founded on pathological dishonesty, shored up by a media that trades almost entirely in untruths. From the lie by omission, through distortions of the truth, to the big fat lie, our media reflects every shade of 'opinion' emanating from the White House.

Even the phrase "Fair and Balanced" has been trademarked, copyrighted and bludgeoned into meaninglessness by F(oxymoron) News for whom diversity of opinion is several shades of red. So pity the consumer. Pity the apolitical and the gullible who have had their brains washed so frequently, and with so little attention paid to their care labels, that they are now faded, shrunken and useless. Pity a nation devoid of news. Pity a nation devoid of pity.

God knows that today, I would gladly forsake Spiderman, Hong Kong Fooey - hell, even Starsky and Hutch - for some kind of freakin' TV news service. Nothing ambitious or in-depth - perhaps just a weekly five minute roundup of actual news as defined by Webster's Dictionary? Perhaps it could even be thrown up on one of those shiny 24-hour news channels in between the ads somewhere? Dream on, say CNN, dream on say Fox...

But what can be done? How can we, as single units on the Neilsen scale, effect change? Perhaps we should just try saying no. As someone who sometimes gets a sick kick from watching O'Reilly take his bloated ego for its evening dump on Fox, I would be the first to say I really shouldn't. The media goon squad may be seductively entertaining to watch - like craning your neck to catch a glimpse of a freeway wreck - but that's where the trouble starts. They stop being funny as soon as you realize the pernicious effects they are having on America. Just as a freeway wreck stops being titillating once you see the blood.

So the answer is simple: just stop watching. Instead of passively consuming shit, we should all be dropping in on media HQs and local network affiliates asking that they stop showing it. Just enough pressure to make a big-league megacorp think twice about their ad placements with a particular channel would be just the right amount of pressure to propel dicks like O'Reilly into obscurity. We are customers. We still have choice. After all, customer pressure worked wonders for the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition stormtroopers who worked so hard to fuck up the media to begin with.

But if, like me, you're too lazy to start demanding, why not just cancel your damn cable? Sure, it sounds like the ultimate sacrifice, but what the hell. Comcast made $5.3 billion in the first quarter of 2005 and has donated more that $2.5 million to the GOP. Fuck them. Network TV ain't pretty, but that shit comes out of the sky for free. Why subsidize the war hacks and neocon hags with your monthly checks to Comcast? Fuck them.

And where in the TV landscape are the 'liberal' networks owned by deep-pocketed non-cons like George Soros, Peter Lewis (chairman of the aptly named Progressive auto-insurance company), and Chris Heinz (John Kerry's ketchup heir stepson)? Like freakin' nowhere, that's where. How about asking them nicely if they'd consider financing some TV democracy to redress the balance? Where are the liberal O'Reillys? Where are the Democrat Hannitys..? We can be angry too. And, guess what, we don't have to make up stuff to get angry about.

One of the down sides of life is that good can easily be undone but bad seems to live forever. This is the way that posterity is being claimed today. But it will prove to be unsustainable when, sooner or later, even the dumbest dittohead and Christian crank is going to see this conspiracy for what it is: a conspiracy against themselves. According to John Arbuthnot, the seventeenth century scottish physicist, "All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies". In the twenty-first century, with an enslaved fake news media churning out those lies like a lie machine on steroids, the implosion should be happening sooner rather than later. And I, for one, can't fucking wait. (top)

PROWAR V. ANTIWAR: TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY?

Los Angeles Peace March - March 2003
Organizers estimated the crowd at 15,000, said Karin Pally, who helped put on the event. According to police, the crowd numbered between 5,000 and 7,000. (story) Sample banner: "Quagmire Accomplished" (note: early outing for antiwar classic)

Patriots Rally III - January 2003
Approximately 100 Americans braved sub-freezing weather in DC today, to show support for our troops and the Bush administration. (story) Sample banner: "Pacifists are The Parasites of Freedom" (note: holder appears to be maintaining straight face)

Camp Casey - August 2005
Two thousand gather for an anti-war Texas hoe down and BBQ. Full buses of supporters from Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and Austin unloaded and loaded throughout the day. (story) Sample banner: "Hey Bush, Meet with Cindy" (note: a reasonable request reasonably supported by a reasonable banner)

Camp Reality - August 2005
More than 100 supporters of President Bush traveled to Crawford to stage a counter protest as anti-war activists continued their vigil...After about 30 minutes, most of the 100 counter-protestors boarded the bus headed back. (story) Sample banner Support Bush, Support Our Troops, Support our "Free" America (note: author's own quotation marks)

Peace March on Washington - September 2005
Organizers are planning what they say will be the largest anti-war demonstration in the nation's capital since the Iraq war began in March 2003. They believe that growing public sentiment against the war will produce a turnout of 100,000 or more. (story) But at least El Presidente will be able to rely on this guy for support.

BIN LADEN FOUND!

I got some SPAM from intelius.com today - the Web site that can find 'anyone' for a small fee. After testing them out, and discovering that Saddam Hussein is currently living in Tallahassee, I went for the big one. Why don't the CIA spooks go to intelius.com? They found not just one, but an entire Jihad of five Osama bin Ladens in two seconds flat.

Lame jokes aside, it's four years since 9-11 - you have to admire these dudes' rugged determination not to give in and just change their names. How do they do it? Perhaps you could ask Mr Peter Hitler of Mequon, Wisconsin.