AMERICA IN DISTRESS

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all"

Wingnuts: no-one died and made you patriotism police. So before you rage against another blatant display of liberal anti-Americanism: Stop. Think. And fuck off.

Flying the flag upside down is a universally recognized distress signal. What distress? See below...

McCAIN IN THE MEMBRANE II

America has taken a hell of a beating over the past few years. First, we give the keys to the gun cupboard to a troop of rabid chimpanzees masquerading as conservatives. Second, we wait four years and do the exact same thing. Twice in a row Bush gets the country. Jeez, how drunk were we in 2004?

Maybe Bush Cheney 2000 could be put down to dumb bad luck and attention deficit. But Bush Cheney 2004? How did we end up waking up next to the same crack whores of cuntservative values a second time?

If you really want to know how this could happen, just sit back and wait two years for the tired WB cuntservative rerun: President John (yawn...) McCain - crypto fascist de-democratization with a vaguely human face.

Maybe I'm cruel, maybe I just like to talk smack (both are true), but just look at the semi-senile, burnt-out egomaniac pictured above. This twat will make us miss George W. Bush. There are serious, ethical and political reasons that would, in a rational world, disqualify McCain from making Numero Uno of the Free World (here's some), but there's also one overarching, unavoidable impediment that should snuff his presidential fantasies: the guy's a total fucking prick.

Look again at the picture above: It looks like the sad old geezer, possibly a secret pedophile (or DHS official as they are now known), who hangs out at bus stations trying to strike up conversations with random strangers. "Hi. My name's John. I ran for president once... do you vote Republican? Have you ever been inside a Vietnamese prison? Do you watch gladiator movies..?"

Really, America, you could do a lot better. Just stay away from the Fox News and dump those beer goggles before 2008 rolls around. (Top)