BUSH'S PSYCHOLOGICAL WAR ON AMERICA

July 31, 2007

Sick of fake terror threats? Sick of having fear rammed down your throat? How about not voting for it..? Another genius idea... you're welcome.

There comes a time in any situation when you have to say "enough is enough." Full marks for stoicism must be given to the American people for putting up with Bush's bullshit for so long but, surely, enough is now enough. It's true there is a war going on. But it's not a war against you waged by AK-47 wielding Muslims. It's a war against you waged by Bushco™.

And, just when it seems we're waking up to the reality and Bush's power is withering on the vine, they call for reinforcements. Whether it's 9-11 whore Guiliani banging on about terror, dullard McCain removing his tongue from the Presidential sphincter just long enough to yell "the Arabs are coming!", or La Clinton peddling her own pedialite brand of pro-Zionist/anti-Muslim claptrap, these people are fighting against you. As Edward Strong at Atlantic Free Press says:

"Yet another 9/11 anniversary, when Americans are fed the fiery rhetoric of imminent danger, a cocktail of fear, terror and warmongering to satisfy enemy-addicted knee-jerks. The State media are hard at work concocting the trigger-happy bogeyman Americans are always too eager to declare war upon. They are working overtime, using their control of the print, radio and television media, to condition us into accepting their version of reality."

If 2008 represents anything, it represents a crucial chance to wrest back our country from the half-assed hegemonists and warmongering charlatans and restore reality into government. Don't blow it. (Link to this)

REPUBLICAN SCHMUCKWATCH PT. 3,873

July 29, 2007

At least they're not getting blowjobs... more likely giving them

A malfeasant creep by any other name would smell as nasty... It's a hard job keeping up with those Republicans.

The Republican version of clearing your internet history...
A lawsuit was filed Thursday against former Gov. Mike Huckabee that accuses the Republican presidential hopeful of breaking state law when his administration destroyed government-owned hard drives as he left office in January. Is there any conceivable reason to destroy your hard drive and break the law unless you were breaking much bigger laws to begin with?

It's all about me, me, me...
David Vitter doesn't seem troubled by his recent exposure as a onetime client of the so-called DC Madam. His brash return to the Capitol is apparently rankling lawmakers of both parties... So why won't this sleazeball just quit? No-one would expect a curb-crawling reptilian like Vitter to exhibit contrition and do the decent thing, but he could at least spare us the waste of millions of taxpayer dollars, acres of paper and hours of legislative time discussing the sordid ins and outs of his pathetic sex life. Shouldn't our representatives be figuring out small details like how to stop Americans dying in Iraq or staving off Bushco's insane Iran plans instead of giving this pointless nonentity more floor time?

Pussies...
Four days after the Democratic debate in Charleston, S.C., more than 400 questions directed to the GOP presidential field have been uploaded on YouTube, as Republicans are scheduled to take their turn at video-populism on Sept. 17. But only Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) and Rep. Ron Paul (Tex.) have agreed to participate in the debate... Mitt Romney said he's not a fan of the CNN/YouTube format. Referring to a video of a snowman asking Democratic candidates about global warming, Romney quipped, "I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman." Or the American people apparently. (Link to this)

CHENEY CLAIMS SEXUAL HARASSMENT

July 26, 2007

Cheney's Real Reason for F-Bomb Incident...

Patrick Leahy: would-be Dick kisser?

In a new biography by Stephen Hayes, Cheney claims that the reason he told Patrick Leahy to go fuck himself back in 2004 was that he was afraid he was about to kiss him:

"Leahy came over and put his arm around me. And he didn’t kiss me but it was close to it. So I flashed and I told him — I dropped the F-bomb on him... It was heartfelt."

It's pretty hard to imagine anyone in full possession of their faculties attempting to plant one on Cheney when their are still distempered Rottweilers available for smooching... But then again, if Cheney's explanation is true, who wouldn't be alarmed by the sight of the Dino Tales-looking Vermont senatorsaurus advancing toward them with lips all aquiver? Admittedly it's a longer shot than a Mickey Mantle home run, but if Cheney's not lying, who couldn't find it in their hearts to feel sympathy for even him?

Alternatively, a possibility exists that Cheney may be all lied out and this is the best excuse he could come up (without mentioning Halliburton or the Iraq war). And if he's reached this kind of creative low already, I can't wait to hear the outlandish crap he'll be resorting to next year. (Link to this)

LAME ONE-TRICK PONY STILL DODGING POLITICAL GLUE FACTORY

July 23, 2007

Asked About HIV, He Answers With 9/11... Giuliani Keeps Playing his Only Card

After about 10 minutes of prepared remarks at a recent appearance in Iowa, Giuliani began taking questions. Asked about increasing federal support for HIV medications, he discussed what he considers appropriate federal responsibility in health care. "I don't want to promise you the federal government will take over the role," he said, drawing applause and shouts of "all right." Then, in some interesting twists, he turned the HIV question into a 9/11 answer:

"My general experience has been that the federal government works best when it helps and assists and encourages and sets guidelines... on a state-by-state, locality-by-locality basis. It's no different from the way I look at homeland security. Maybe having been mayor of the city, I know that your first defense against terrorist attack is that local police station, or that local firehouse."

Please God strike us less dumb and let us see this ridiculous fake for what he is. President of the United States? Sure it's a very low bar these days, but the fact that this bald waste of space is still being seriously considered for the job is somehow hilarious and wrist-slashingly depressing at the same time. (Link to this)

MORE LIES, MORE MERCURY

July 22, 2007

Because if we're not pumping our kids full of poisonous heavy metals, common sense wins.

Bush is to veto a bill that would ban mercury in flu vaccines for children despite its known links to autism and other neurological disorders and his 2004 pre-election pledge to support such a ban. Child endangerment coupled with a nice, out-and-out lie? Classy.

The White House stated that he'd veto the FY 2008 HHS-Labor-Education Appropriations Bill because of the cost and "objectionable provisions" such as a measure to ban the use of childhood flu vaccines that contain thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative, said a press release from Autism advocacy group Safe Minds.

I guess Fristy The Snow Man's tireless efforts to protect the pharm mafia's bank rolls from those greedy autistic kids and their families has finally paid off. Wonder how much a presidential veto fetches these days anyway?

It's not often that the phrase 'subhuman assholes' seems polite, but when applied to Bush and Frist in this context, it feels like a compliment. (Link to this) (Related: JASON McELWAIN AND THE RETARD)

DICK-TATORSHIP? WATCH THIS SPACE

July 20, 2007

"The American people don't really understand the danger that they face."
Paul Craig Roberts

Paul Craig Roberts, a former Assistant Secretary of the Treasury under The Gipper, has issued a public warning that the Bush administration is preparing to orchestrate a staged terrorist attack in the United States, transform the country into a dictatorship and launch a war with Iran within a year.

Roberts, who spoke on the Thom Hartmann radio program, said: "When Bush exercises this authority [under the new Executive Order], there's no check to it. So it really is a form of total, absolute, one-man rule."

" The American people don't really understand the danger that they face," Roberts said, adding that the so-called neoconservatives intended to use a renewal of the fight against terrorism to rally the American people around the fading Republican Party.

Really? Much as I sympathize with professional Bush-antagonists like Roberts, I can't help doubting the credibility of his Fox-News-in-reverse scaremongering. Not that it's much comfort to have the levers of power in this country monopolized by power-crazed morons, but at least the moron aspect makes it unlikely that they'll ever be able to keep it together long enough to follow through with their flawed fantasies of world domination.

The neocon brand is all about disaster. They're all about making ill-advised plans full of spurious presumption and recklessness born of deliberate ignorance. Sure, they'd love to do away with the constitution and have us all take the day off on Dick Cheney's birthday, but it's easier to imagine Laurel and Hardy moving a piano upstairs without incident than clapped-out hasbeens like Bush and Cheney "orchestrating" anything as sophisticated as a coup. (Link to this)

IRAQ: CAN ANYONE SAY UNTENABLE?

July 19, 2007

71% of America and 60% of the military want out

Military.com is the "largest military and veteran membership organization — 8 million members strong" on the Web. A couple of years back, asking them if we should pull out of Iraq would have probably elicited the cyber equivalent of a bitch slapping. But now "nearly 60 percent of readers who participated in a recent Military.com poll said the United States should withdraw its troops from Iraq now or by the end of 2008."

Bush and his wingnuts always argued that us dumb fucks who want out (71% of Americans at the last count) don't know what we're talking about. We've always been told we should shut up and defer to the military. So what say we give that a try, Durr Fuehrer? (Link to this)

ANOTHER REPUBLICAN SEX MACHINE POWERED DOWN

July 18, 2007

And they just keep coming... unless they get arrested first

"I am filing a not guilty plea. I am vigorously going to fight this," said State Rep. Bob Allen, a co-chair of presidential candidate John McCain's campaign in Florida, at a news conference. "I am not resigning my office because the people elected me and want me to do a good job. I am going to do a good job for them in finishing this term."

There are no prizes for guessing what this publicly anti-gay Republican pol was arrested for... yup, offering an undercover cop $20 to let him suck his cock. Allen called his arrest "an ugly and unpleasant situation." Not half as ugly and unpleasant as his thwarted blowjob would have been if the picture above is anything to go by. (Link to this) (Related: REPUBLICAN SEX OFFENDER SHOWCASE)

WHY NOT BURN DOWN AN ORPHANAGE OR SHOOT A FEW KITTENS WHILE YOU'RE ABOUT IT, MR BUSH?

July 16, 2007

Bush to Veto Child Health Insurance Subsidy

The Bush administration said Saturday that Philip Morris and other GOP donors senior advisers would recommend the president veto Senate legislation that would substantially increase funds for children's health insurance.

The legislation calls for a 61-cent increase in the federal excise tax on a pack of cigarettes. The revenue would be used to subsidize health insurance for up to 20 million uninsured children and some adults. Or not.

Our holy roller prez must have asked Jesus what he'd do and Jesus replied, "fuck them kids." (Link to this)

KKKRISTIANS AT IT AGAIN

July 16, 2007

Christians Threaten Biology Profs With Death

Perusers of this site may detect a certain degree of cynicism on my part with regard to America's conservative "Christians." This might just be because these rock-headed fascists represent the most malignant and most utterly embarrassing demographic around and, until the last rasping breath drags from the body of the last Christian conservative, America will always be regarded as both the world's silliest and most dangerous country. Here's a random example:

Last weekend more than a dozen envelopes bearing the image of skull and crossbones and containing letters threatening the lives of CU-Boulder evolutionary biology professors were slipped under the doors of CU-Boulder buildings. According to a reprint of the letter posted online, the threat reads: "every true Christian should be ready and willing to take up arms to kill the enemies of Christian society."

These psychotic blowhards make me think the emperor Nero was definitely a man ahead of his time. Really, who wouldn't love to see a few Christian conservatives dipped in burning tar or fed to lions? (Link to this)

ONE PICTURE, THOUSAND WORDS OPTIONAL

July 15, 2007

Here's a great demonstration of the Republican party's commitment to civil rights: Tom Tancredo standing alone on the platform at the recent NAACP GOP Presidential Candidate Forum. All 9 Republican frontrunners were invited to attend, but all were "too busy."

(There was full attendance at the earlier Democratic candidate forum because they're way better at faking it and they don't risk alienating their base by behaving in anything other than a mean-spirited and exclusionary manner.) (Link to this)

SUCK IT, BABY, SUCK IT...

July 15, 2007

Another GOP Sex Machine Derailed

North Carolina Rep. David Almond resigned after word of his inappropriate behavior hit the news. Although North Carolina House Republicans are trying to keep his transgression a secret, a quick peek at Alternet.org reveals that he is charged with exposing himself in front of a female employee and chasing her around the room yelling "Suck it, baby, suck it."

"A complaint has been filed against me with the Speaker. I intend to defend myself against these charges in whatever forum may be appropriate." Said Almond. Those with less fortitude than a Republican pol might be tempted to shut up and bow out with as little attention drawn to their errant behavior as possible. But not Almond.

Maybe the grandfatherly representative was just trying to offer her a Werther's Original? (Link to this)

AMERICAN TALIBAN ADVANCING THOSE NOBLE CHRISTIAN VIRTUES OF HATRED AND HYPOCRISY

July 15, 2007

Who Would Jesus Hate?

Last year Wal-Mart joined the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, sponsored the annual convention of Out & Equal, a group that promotes gay rights in the workplace, and sold gay-themed jewelry in stores. But its inclusiveness stuck in the collective craw of the American Taliban. Now Wal-Mart has withdrawn its support for gay groups after pressure from "Christians" who threatened to boycott the world's largest retailer. Shame the small-minded haters couldn't have threatened Wal-Mart with a boycott to make them pay living wages or provide healthcare for their slave labor force instead. If only they could use their irresistible powers for good - kinda like Jesus did... After all, JC never mentioned the gays or any divine disapproval thereof, but he did have a thing or two to say about fair labor practices.

The American Taliban also got mad this week after the Senate opted to mix it up a bit (in the pluralistic tradition of the US Constitution) and drafted a Hindu clergyman to MC its morning prayers. But before the ceremony could begin, a small group of "vocal Christian protestors" shouted angry slogans from the visitor's gallery right above the Senate floor. The group's chief, Reverend Flip Benham, praised the protest and slammed Hinduism as "gross idolatry."

Perhaps the Reverend Flip and his flock of rabid sheep should take a quick glance at the Constitution just for a refresher. Even a fake-Christain retard should be able to mouth-read their way through the First Amendment at least without too much trouble. (Link to this)

FIRST BLOOD FOR LARRY FLYNT'S HYPOCRITE HITLIST

July 12, 2007

Louisiana Republican Outed as Whore Fucker

David Vitter is a regional campaign chairman for Giuliani's 2008 campaign and the first item in what promises to be an interesting list of two-faced sleazebags to be outed by Larry Flynt. Vitter admitted that his phone number appeared among those associated with an escort service operated by Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the so-called D.C. Madam, after the news was released by Flynt as the opening shot in his war on Washington's hypocrites. [There's no word from the Hustler publisher on how long he expects the war to last but, given the depth and nastiness of the DC cesspit, experts agree it could make the US commitment in Iraq look like an in-and-out sting operation...]

"David and his wife Wendy live in Metairie with their four children, ages 13 and under, and are lectors at St. Francis Xavier Church." Says his Web site bio though, curiously, it doesn't say much about banging hookers.

Is there anything more joyful in life than to seeing sanctimonious crapweasels like Vitter fall flat on their smug faces? Thank you Larry Flynt for doing the job our bought-and-paid-for faux news media are too pussy to do. (Link to this)

BUSHCO PUTTING POLITICS BEFORE HEALTH EVERYTHING

July 12, 2007

Former Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona told a Congressional panel Tuesday that top Bush administration officials repeatedly tried to weaken or suppress important public health reports because of political considerations.

No massive surprise there, but the added revelation that "Dr. Carmona said he was ordered to mention President Bush three times on every page of his speeches" makes it sound more like he was working for Chairman Mao than Bush.

Carmona was also criticized by Bush apparatchiks for his involvement with the Special Olympics: "I was specifically told by a senior person, 'Why would you want to help those people?' " (Link to this)

ANOTHER WARMONGERING ASSHOLE WHO WANTS YOUR KIDS DEAD

July 10, 2007

Frederick Kagan: another colossus of the wingnut warrior class

Turd Kagan of the American Enterprise Institute gets today's Bill Kristol award for his miserably dishonest assessment of the Iraq situation: "If we pull out, if we stop this operation now, we will hand Al-Qaeda a terrific victory." Ain't you sick of hearing this from Bush, Cheney and all the other twinkling fairy lights on the lower branches of the bullshit tree? (If answered 'no', please proceed directly to toilet and flush own head).

"We" handed al Qaeda a terrific victory by embarking on "our" hare-brained War In Error to begin with. What greater victory could there be for an enemy of the United States than to see the Great Satan mired up to its pits in someone else's civil war? What greater victory could there be for an enemy of the United States than seeing us send our kids off to die at a rate of 100+ per month? What greater victory could there be for an enemy of the United States than seeing our deranged politicos piss away our economic prosperity at a rate of $12 Billion per month? What greater victory could there be for an enemy of the United States than seeing this country's popularity with the rest of the world drop faster than the value of the dollar as Bush's crapastrophe drags on?

We seem to have acquired much of a taste for bullshit... How else could pricks like Kagan say what they say without risk of ridicule, dissent or getting their skulls crushed with large rocks? (Link to this)

FRED THOMPSON "DUMB AS HELL"

July 8, 2007

Ergo a Shoo-in for the Presidency?

The Oval Office, January 2009: White House staffers play the ever-popular game of "Tell Fred to go stand in the corner."

Although Fred Thompson is remembered by some as a "tough-minded investigative counsel for the Senate Watergate committee," Tricky Dick viewed him in a far less favorable light at the time.

Thompson was appointed by his political mentor and top Republican committee-member, Tennessee Sen. Howard Baker, but Nixon was disappointed with Baker's choice and called Thompson "dumb as hell."

"Oh shit, that kid," Nixon said when told by his chief of staff, H.R. Haldeman, of Thompson's appointment.

"Well, we're stuck with him," Haldeman said.

Dick's secret tapes reveal Thompson's behind-the-scenes role as a staunch partisan willing to break the rules and bend justice in Nixon's favor. It was Thompson who tipped off the White House that the Senate committee knew about his tapes and Thompson who worked hard to discredit the committee's most damaging witness. But even as a pliant stooge, he was not well-liked. The best Nixon could say about him was "he's not very smart... but he's friendly."

If the last 7 years have taught us anything, it's that us schizoid voters like our presidents impressively sneaky and power-crazed, but theoretically dumb enough to be contained before they can do too much real damage. On this basis, Thompson looks like a definite shoo-in for 2008. (Link to this) (Related: CHRIS 'BLUEBALLS' MATTHEWS AND THE FANTASY FRONTRUNNER)

CHRIS 'BLUEBALLS' MATTHEWS AND THE FANTASY FRONTRUNNER

July 6, 2007

Is it possible to imagine a more unappetizing popularity contest in hell than one where Rudy Giuliani ranks as "the best liked candidate?" Apparently, 74% of Republicans now have a favorable opinion of the bald cocksucker who's staking his future on getting more career leverage out of 9-11 than even Bush (or bin Laden) himself.

And the miserable race gets even more pathetic when one ponders that the most popular candidate overall is former Tennessee Senator and alleged Nixon co-conspirator Fred Thompson who hasn't even declared his intention to run.

Just to up the creepy ante a notch, let's not forget Chris Matthews' drooling tribute to Fred on his Hardball Blueballs crapshow:

"Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man's shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of... a little bit of cigar smoke? You know, whatever."

But Chris's fantasies aren't just reserved for hunky Thompson. More recently, his homoerotic musings have featured Rudy Giuliani. Here's Matthews fantasizing about Giuliani getting down and dirty with the Iranian president in an S&M streetfight scenario that was actually pitched as a straight-faced question to Mike DuHaime, Giuliani's campaign manager on a recent edition of Blueballs:

"Who would win a street fight? Rudy Giuliani -- just think of a street fight now over in Queens somewhere. It's a dark night, it's about 2 in the morning. Two guys are out behind the building, right? On a vacant lot. Rudy Giuliani or President Ahmadinejad, who would win that fight?"

So MSNBC is broadcasting the masturbation fantasies of a middle-aged closet queen and calling it political comment while the race for the Republican nomination is being won by someone who isn't even running? Jeez, all the bitching I've done about Bush over the years... maybe it's about time we tried dictatorship for a while if this is what we do with democracy. (Link to this)

INFORMATION AGE AMERICANS DUMBER THAN EVER

July 4, 2007

According to new research by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press, we are stupider today than we were in 1989 despite the development of the Web. But if we consider the most easily accessible tap into the sum of human knowledge ever conceived by man is most usually reserved for dating fat chicks and looking at Asian porn, it becomes less of a shocker...

It's also not too amazing to learn that the least informed amongst us are those who depend on F(Oxymoron) News for their cross-eyed, squinty view of the world. According to the survey, only 37% of Fox viewers knew who Vladimir Putin was, only 31% had ever heard of Sunni Islam, while only 33% were able to correctly identify Scooter Libby. This compares to a healthier (though still pathetic) 58%, 52% and 42% respectively for 'Major newspaper Web site' regulars.

Congratulations America - it takes real talent to stay dumb in the face of such a relentless barrage of information as the Internet. It's the cerebral equivalent of walking underneath Niagara Falls and emerging dry at the other side... How the rest of the world must draw comfort from us being the most powerful and influential nation on Earth. (Link to this)

COMMUTE MY ASS, DURR FUEHRER

July 3, 2007

Another Bush Move From The Autocrat's Playbook

Many wingnut apologists have been digging up Clinton's numerous pardons of years gone by (how they obsess over that guy) in a feeble attempt to make Bush's dictatorial idiocy seem with precedent, but his decision to commute Scooter Libby's sentence is effectively nothing more than one big fat 'fuck you' to just about everyone.

To the idea of justice and accountability: one big fat 'fuck you.' To the court who sentenced him fairly and in accordance with the law: one big fat 'fuck you.' To the American public who overwhelmingly believe Libby should not be pardoned: one big fat 'fuck you.' To his own party who are now stuck with yet another Bush turd to polish: one big fat 'fuck you.' To Bush's own legal counsel and advisors who weren't even consulted before Durr Fuehrer delivered his edict: one big fat 'fuck you.'

Are there no lengths to which the world's most powerful ersatz fascist will not stretch to prove he's the worst president ever? Perhaps, bearing in mind the current forest of wingnut boners hovering over Iran, it's better not to ask. (Link to this)

McCAIN FINISHED?

July 3, 2007

Would-be Geezer President Lays off staff as his popularity takes a dirt nap

Even though he's demonstrated a willingness to do or say anything to get elected, McCain's stubborn determination to stand by Bush seems to be killing the former frontrunner's chances of nomination. Sorry for the schadenfreude, but the idea of McCain breaking himself on the wheel of his own bloated ego is fucking hilarious. Next: Giuliani. (Link to this)

MORE WAR IN ERROR

July 2, 2007

Bush praises British terror attack response... shame imitation is not always the highest form of flattery.

Bush said Sunday he appreciates the new British government's "strong response" to terrorist threats in London and Scotland. So maybe Durr Fuehrer and his War In Error posse might be taking notes? Doubt it.

What's so different about the British approach anyway? Seems like simple genius in comparison to the extravagant incompetence of our own antiterrorism efforts, but using the police to investigate and prosecute crime seems like a pretty smart idea. Next time an al Qaeda wannabe makes a half-assed attempt to blow anything up, how about arresting the guy instead of just flapping your jaws witlessly about Islamic plots to take over the world, paying self-serving vultures (the ubiquitous TV "counter terrorism experts") to spout paranoid crap on Fox News, rounding up more Afghan goatherds to pad out Gitmo, and generally ratcheting up the lucrative climate of fear..?

Of course, it would be horribly naive to expect our government to encourage anything as unprofitable and intelligent as using law enforcement to address a law enforcement issue. Bushco™ and the free market parasites only care about sucking more dollars out of disaster by pushing their imaginary cosmic showdown between Baby Jesus and the wicked Mohammedans... they couldn't give a fuck about the safety of us dumb schmucks or any banal notions of justice, accountability or common sense. Unless, of course, loads of us get killed in one fell swoop... then the tragedy can be exploited to great effect by otherwise laughably unelectable presidential candidates and insane foreign policy strategists. (Link to this)

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