Polls put Ron Paul in statistical dead heat with Ghouliani in the latest Iowa taste test. Is Rudy wondering if Satan gives soul refunds?

According to our MSM, one will probably be our next president while the other one is pegged as a D-list no-hoper.

According to reality, one of them is a vainglorious weasel who looks like he spends hours in front of the mirror blowing himself as he stares into his own eyes while the other one looks like Tigger.

But, inconveniently for our news fodder vendors, the latter has just scored a statistical dead heat with Ghouliani in the latest Iowa Caucus Presidential Preferences poll by the American Research Group. Given the 4 percent margin for error, they're both on 10-14 percent. (In the same poll, Fred Thompson got a staggering 3 percent. Does this, theoretically, put him at a possible negative one?)

Even though cheering a Republican makes me puke in the back of my throat, Fried Wire says "Go Ron Paul!" Go shake up that corrupt establishment with your refreshing new... err... 18th century message! Enthrall all us dumb schmucks who aren't quite dumb enough to be intellectually rufied by the many-headed beast of bloviation!

Like most news media, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has Ron Paul pegged as a long-shot crank. "Don't tell Ron Paul's supporters that their man is not going be the next U.S. president," they say before expounding on his crazy beliefs "common themes emerge: honesty, strict allegiance to the Constitution and personal freedom." No wonder the fucker's got no chance. (Link to this)

So many stories demonstrating the decline of America from world power to neocon disaster zone, so little time... Happy Holidays!

Florida's Secretary of State Kurt Browning plans to add more than 14,000 contested voters to the voting rolls, but not until after the deadline to vote in the presidential primary has passed. Gee, let's send out a big thanks on behalf of the disenfranchised and celebrate the respect accorded to our precious democracy by the cuntservative warlords of Florida.

In California, Schwarzenegger is suing Bush's puppet EPA for blocking his emissions legislation. So Bushco™ has now managed to make even "The Governator" look like an angry enviro-hippy? Wow...

In health news, a father is suing Cigna for killing his daughter by refusing to pay for her liver transplant. Insurance companies killing people to save a buck? Another great day for the free market.

In Ontario, California, victims of the housing slump have established a growing tent city. "The noisy, dusty camp sprang up in July with 20 residents and now numbers 200 people, including several children, growing as this region east of Los Angeles has been hit by the U.S. housing crisis." Says the Guardian. I'm sure the wingnuts will cite this as yet more evidence that the economy is doing great... good news for tent manufacturers and property speculators for sure.

But the most literal 'America unraveling' story this week has to be the secession of the Lakota Sioux. "We are no longer citizens of the United States of America and all those who live in the five-state area that encompasses our country are free to join us," says Lakota representative and former Libertarian Presidential candidate Russell Means. How does the Bush government respond to the news that several thousand square miles of middle America has left the union? Search me... or more appropriately, search Google cuz I couldn't find a damn thing. (Link to this)

Is America ready to grow up and stop asking stupid questions?

'Barry' Obama's funkadelic class of '79 Punahou high school page.

One thing that truly pisses me off (and, God knows, there's plenty to choose from) is the mind-numbingly facile assertion bandied about by so many Rethugs and Feeblecrats alike that "America just isn't ready for a black president." To believe such a retarded statement betrays not only racist presumption on the part of the proponent but also brass-balled arrogance enough to project one's own personality flaws onto an entire nation.

The question is not about America being ready for a (a) woman (b) black (c) mormon (d) bald philandering Nazi as president, it's about America being ready to choose a president who isn't a major-league asshole hellbent on triggering WWIII. As such, Obama looks like a good prospect when stood next to the Rethug Bush wannabes and that penisless Bush clone from New York.

And it might be useful for those folks who whine that a black guy could never get traction to remember that Obama is not Al Sharpton. Or Alan Keyes. It might also be a good idea for them to peruse the polls: Ninety-three percent say yes when asked "If your party nominated a generally well-qualified person for president who happened to be black, would you vote for that person?" And, in answer to that fucking stupid statement that pisses me off so much, only 24% agree that America is not ready for a black prez (FOX News/Opinion Dynamics Poll. Feb. 27-28, 2007). And that's exactly half the number who doubt we're ready for Mormon Magic Underpants sitting behind the CIC's desk.

Which brings us to the good news for Obama: he's the only Dem candidate who would beat all five leading GOP prospects. Period.

Seems reality is a little more reasonable than opinion and We The People are not quite the bigoted yokels many would have you believe. (Link to this)

No news is good news: The mushroom theory of management applied to Iraq.

It's mind-boggling to comprehend that the ongoing national disaster in Iraq - currently costing us more than $9 billion and 75 troops per month - warrants only an average of three minutes out of every hour of TV news.

And a study by the Pew Research Center's Project for Excellence in Journalism found that coverage from Iraq fell from 8 percent of all news stories in the first six months of 2007 to just 5 percent between June and October. This falloff coincided with a 14 point climb - from 34 to 48 percent - in the number of Americans who say they believe the military effort in Iraq is going either fairly or very well.

So the less its mentioned, the more people think it's going well. And who benefits most from our helpful MSM's policy of Iraq war information starvation? Say thanks Ghouliani, Clinton, Obama, Romney, et al. Imagine how difficult it would be for these would-be presidential bozos if they actually had to answer questions about the fucking huge elephant in the room and... gulp... formulate policies. (For readers unfamiliar with the pre-9-11 world, (i) 'policies' were what electeds used to talk about before the post-9-11 world made it possible for them to just blather incessantly about terrorism and gays instead. (ii) 'News' was the medium through which important information about current events was communicated to people at home who used to give a fuck. Crazy huh?)

Purely coincidentally, it's also startling (or not) to discover that we're currently listed as 24th dumbest country in the world based on average IQ. While the top seven spots are taken by Asian nations (guess that's one racial stereotype no-one would be much offended by) with averages between 105 and 108, the US languishes at the 98 mark. Any more good news for prospective Republican presidential candidates? How about the depressing fact that we seem to be the only developed nation on the planet where average intelligence is remaining static instead of rising?

Of course, these claims will be rejected as baseless and unscientific - as ones that sound bad invariably are - by the same people who claim the Earth is only 6,000 years old and that man used to coexist peaceably with dinosaurs. Go Huckabee! (Link to this)

"Paul Karason says he hopes the people who see him out and about will realize he's just like them, only a really different color."

A former Oregon resident with blue skin is hoping to put down roots in the central Valley after his color attracted too much unwanted attention in his home town. Yup, that's right, he's totally blue.

His complexion is the result of drinking colloidal silver - billed as a new age cure-all, but with the weird side effect of turning skin blue. When asked if he still drinks it, even after his skin turned blue, Karason said "Yeah, but much less." Now that's what you call product loyalty. (Link to this)

Ghouliani's wife an ex-professional puppy torturer, Huckabee Junior a dog lyncher... did the GOP just lose the canine vote?

If this guy was your son, wouldn't you deny the theory of evolution too?

Judith Giuliani once had a four-year sales gig demonstrating surgical staplers on dogs which were later killed. "It was a horribly cruel, outrageous program," said Friends of Animals President Priscilla Feral. The company, U.S. Surgical, killed hundreds of dogs each year through the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s to boost sales.

So you have a nice, cozy job torturing and killing puppies for a living. Now... how can you make this picture better? Cue marriage to Rudolph Giuliani. I know nothing of Judith Giuliani but, man, based on these two factoids she scares the bejeezuz out of me.

And what of Jeezuzland's great white hope Huckabee? Not only is he dealing with being called a 'smirking hick' and an 'unusually stupid primate' by Christopher Hitchens, that rich fount of booze-fueled scorn, he's also having to spin Newsweek's story about his missing-link-looking son's predilection for lynching stray dogs. (Man, them poor Arkansasans... no longer able to lynch black folks for looking at them funny, they're reduced to hanging stray dogs for shits and giggles..?)

Seems Huck Junior was drummed out of the scouts after a dog hanging incident back in 1998 when he was 17-years old. His dad continues to deny the allegations despite the confessions of others involved (I believe he's claiming autoerotic asphyxiation on the dog's part). But, according to John Bailey, then director of Arkansas's state police, "Without question, [Huckabee] was making a conscious attempt to keep the state police from investigating his son." (Link to this)

Send in the clowns. Next, the stormtroopers.

In a parallel universe there's probably an election campaign going on right now where the only candidate professing strict adherence to the constitution is getting the credit he/she deserves. But it sure as hell ain't happening in this universe where cartoon patriots and neocon psychopaths get to judge everybody's Americanism.

In our universe, those opposed to the subversion of the principles of the founding fathers are smeared as 'isolationists' by those determined to advance the United States as a militarist, colonial power... In our universe, those who advocate freedom of speech, freedom of association and freedom from religious supremacism are smeared as 'terrorists' by those determined to turn the secular United States into an authoritarian theocracy... And in our fucked-up universe we're treated to degraded spectacles like the smearing of Ron Paul - the only presidential candidate to espouse constitutionalism - as an enemy of the state.

On The Glen Beck show recently, the eponymous mormo-nazi alluded to Paul and his supporters when he said "we talk a lot on this program about the foreign threats - maybe we should spend some time tonight on the domestic one... the physical threat may be developing domestically as well." Also on was big, neocon swinging dick David Horovitz who went on to link the anti-war movement and libertarians with "Islamofascists" and terrorists. "They are totally in bed with the Islamofascists and have turned against this country," said Horovitz with the kind of propagandist chutzpah that would have had Goebbels blushing.

With all these 'enemy of the state' accusations flying around, it's easy to wonder if it's all part of some sinister 'softening up' process. Are Beck, Horovitz and the other tight-hatted talking heads radioing in coordinates for the "Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act" big gun? Should inconveniently genuine patriots standing in moral opposition to these flag-wrapped fakes now be forced to consider their affection for the letter and spirit of the constitution a liability? God help us.

And (hate me for saying it if you will) props to Paul for being the only candidate with the balls to stand up to this vicious strain of quasifascistic vampirism that's sucking the life out of our democracy. (Link to this)

It's a sad day in every child's life when they finally realize... Santa's a dick.

The Canadian postal service recently shut down it's 'Write To Santa' program after Santa started firing off obscene replies to kids.

One mother was thrilled to see Santa had answered letters from her two-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son. Until she read Santa's reply to her daughter: "This letter is too long, you dumb shit" and her son's which said "Your mom sucks dicks and your Dad is gay."

Canada Post spokeswoman Cindy Daoust said "We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there." (Link to this)

Ghouliani chimes in on the illegal immigrant 'debate' by expressing his regret that he wasn't able to have all 400,000 illegals in New York deported. By cattle car..?

"If they could [have deported them], I would have have turned all the people over. It would have helped me. I would have had a smaller population. I would have had fewer problems."

Apart from the distinctly Thomas Malthus meets Heinrich Himmler tone of this statement, notice how Ghouliani, as a pathological egomaniac, can't help relating every broader issue to himself. In just one 30-word quote, he references himself no less than four times.

The core issue of the illegal immigration problem is, after all, all about how it effects Ghouliani personally. Just as the most devastating effect of 9-11 was probably how it so brutally cut into his extramarital sex and ballgame "me time."

All rhetoric and red/blue prejudice aside, it's still impossible for me to see any redeeming feature in this vacuous prick or any conceivable reason why people think he'd make a good president. Even I can understand why so many turned out for Baby Bush (not saying they were right, just that I can understand why) but Giuliani??? What am I missing?

Perhaps a "Go Rudy" oompa loompa would care to enlighten me. Nothing too demanding... just drop me an email including your name, contact information and one good thing that could be said in all honesty about Rudolph Giuliani. (Link to this)

Give me some of that old time Religion... or rather not.

Evangelicals (read: pinheaded Jeezuz Nazis) heart Huckabee. And, lest it be put about that they only back him because no-one else in the Republican race is worth a wet fart, he's busy building up his evangelical cred to look like God's chosen candidate. Or the nearest thing America has ever had to a budding Ayatollah.

Huckabee is a big fan of deceased conman for Christ Falwell, has received the enthusiastic backing of Tim "Left Behind" LaHaye and considers every word of the Bible to be absolute, literal truth. In other words, he's a terrifying prospect for anyone who believes in the separation of church and state or the idea that insanity isn't a good thing. Everyone from atheists through regular, mild-mannered Christian types should be shitting bricks at the idea that this crazed throwback could get elected... not to mention those dusky folks who call their Gods by different names but still considers themselves American.

According to the NY Times "He also affirms the Baptist Faith and Message statement: The Holy Bible has truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter. Therefore, all Scripture is totally true and trustworthy."

So... let's consider a few directives straight from "God's" desk that Ayatollah Huckabee would be campaigning on if he was a man of his (or "God's") word:

Still worried about them Muslims? (Link to this)

It doesn't matter a damn which Bush-clone frontrunner runs as a Democrat in 2008, we 'liberals' will be screwed for choice. Depressing? Yes.

But spare a thought for our cuntservative counterparts who are similarly bereft of anyone to vote for. Giuliani? A cheating, pro-choice, lapsed Catholic scumbag. Romney? Insane Mormon greaser. McCain and Thompson? Bewildered coffin dodgers.

So could this be the first time in recorded history that there'll be an election where nobody wants to vote for anybody? Perhaps we should just flip a coin (and let Ron Paul win if it lands edge-wise). (link to this)

Dangerous, stupid, gross... everything I love in a story.

Eat that, Johnny Knoxville...
Some people will do anything to get in the record books... example: Pittsburgh volunteer paramedic Matthew McKnight holds the newly-recognized Guinness record for "Greatest Distance Thrown in a Car Accident." Darned attention junky... McKnight suffered two dislocated shoulders plus a broken shoulder, pelvis, leg and tailbone after being thrown 118 feet after being hit by a car doing 70mph.

Hold the prophylactics...
A Fair Haven man seeking unspecified damages from Burger King says he doesn't know why anyone would put a condom in his burger, but admits he did have an argument with an employee at the restaurant. Following the incident, he claimed that whenever he dreamed "whatever I was holding and whatever I was doing would either turn into a condom or a burger."

It's a Christian thing, don't ask...
Mt. Lebanon police are investigating a Christian youth group after the mother of one of its members complained about an activity during which her 14-year-old son wore a diaper and a baby bonnet while sitting on a girl's lap. But "We cannot find anything that would constitute a crime," said the Allegheny County District Attorney. The boy described a contest where boys wore bonnets, diapers and bibs and sat "on the laps of female participants while being fed baby food and soda" from a baby bottle, police said.

Carrot perv...
An English court heard how a driving instructor put a 12-inch carrot down his pants and told a female pupil that her perfectly executed maneuver was so good it had given him an erection. His 18 month jail sentence would seem to contradict the received wisdom that women like (1) being complimented (2) a guy with a sense of humor and (3) a 12-inch penis.

(Link to this)

Since the glory days of the mighty Clenis, the Democratic party has suffered 7 years of miserable, self-imposed decline. By evidence of recent events, it finally looks like the donkey is dead. Or should be.

All of us Bush-junta-hating liberals have been living in denial for years. We've been making excuse after excuse for those spineless Dems, our party of default, but they've had neither the capacity nor the will to represent us in years. Our political hopes are like Terry Schiavo pointlessly and cruelly wired up to life support while we're all too preoccupied with our own denial and forlorn dreams of recovery to pull the plug... But the time inevitably comes to say enough is enough. We've tried praising them, we've tried cajoling them, we've tried CPR... but nothing has worked. It's time to end our existential crises, dump Howard Dean's rat-fink party and move on.

We're not far into December and already we've seen them introduce the "Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act" bill designed to take away our constitutionally protected freedom of speech and turn every free-thinking American into a potential political prisoner. We've seen them kiss presidential ass and betray their former principles by tacking billions of dollars for the Iraq war onto a hate crime bill designed by Ted Kennedy to trick his fluffy liberals into funding Bush's war. And, according to Yahoo:

Fucking treacherous pricks. I'm sure everyone who voted Democrat last November (especially that swollen majority of us who want out of Iraq) are experiencing a very painful case of buyer's remorse. Fuck you Howard... and the donkey you rode in on. (Link to this)

Wingnuts, present arms... forward march!

There's nothing like a bad old-fashioned gun massacre to give wingnuts excited little boners. Whether it's Virginia Tech, Columbine or the latest rampage in Omaha, these tragedies are invariably the fault of liberal gun control advocates... definitely not the fault of lunatics with guns or the messed-up system that enabled them.

To 'tards like Roger Kimball these horrific events occur because not enough people have guns: "If just a few of those holiday shoppers in Omaha, Nebraska had been packing heat, they could have put a stop to Robert Hawkins’s disgusting rampage eftsoons and right speedily," says Roger. (Top marks for using the word 'eftsoons' though)

Insatpundit says "I'll add that I'm pretty sure that nobody in the Omaha mall was thinking, "Good thing the crazy guy is the only one here with a gun."

I hate to state the fucking obvious, but when responding to these twats for whom even the most basic conventions of common sense and human decency are obviously anathema, you can never be too obvious. Here's a crazy theory straight off the top of my head: If it's easier for a mentally ill teenager to buy assault rifles over the Internet than it is for them to score a six-pack of Coors Light at the supermarket, we might have a problem that needs fixing.

Just my two cents. (Link to this)

It's what the holidays are all about!

Color Me Bad
The Catholic Church in New York is trying educate kids about the danger of being sexually assaulted by a priest by distributing an abuse-themed coloring book. "Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic," was sent out earlier this year to several hundred schools as part of the church's Safe Environment Program.

Wow... I hate to sound like some kind of antichrist, but it kinda feels like they should think about wrapping the whole Catholic thing up if it's come down to this. Sad.

Dirty Santa
It's the stuff of technological nightmares. One day, the robots will develop free will and rise up against their human masters... Microsoft's festive IM Web bot is undergoing a severe bout of reprogramming after it went pedophile on a bunch of kids. Many Microsoft Windows Live Messenger users were shocked when "Santa" started insulting their kids online and talking about blow jobs. Here's a transcript provided by UK geek mag The Register:

Thanks, Microsoft. Not content with destroying the computing dreams of adults with your horrible software, you now want to trash our kids' Christmases as well? Have they no humanity..? (Link to this)

It's hard to be a warmonger these days...

In the absence of a new 9-11 type event, it's proving difficult for Bushco™ to sell their war with Iran. My, it's tough being a chickenhawk these days... the warmongering trade is not what it used to be. Now if only someone would just kill a few thousand Americans in some kind of terror spectacular... then we could invade Sweden, let alone Iran, and no-one would be bitching about it. How that elusive catastrophe must haunt the dreams of those psycho neocons so determined to go thermobaric on Ahmadinejad's impudent ass.

And what could be more frustrating to a thwarted warmonger who's based his entire selling strategy on the shaky premise that Iran is developing a bomb? Maybe that pesky 16-agency NIE that says Iran halted its nuclear program four years ago? But Bushco™ hasn't missed a beat. In the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary and common-fucking-sense, they've gone on the offensive against the intelligence agencies and the UN weapons inspectors. Just like 2003 all over again.

Although this looks like a creepy rerun of the lead-up to the Iraq invasion, those amongst us who aren't completely on-board with the idea that starting WWIII is a great idea should draw comfort from this: Bush 2007 has hemorrhaged so much credibility and power compared to Bush 2003 that his intel minions are refusing to roll over like they did before - hence the 'in your face Bush' nature of the latest NIE on Iran.

This time around it's Bush and Cheney who are going to look like the liars they are. Even those who were sucker enough to buy the WH-generated Plame/Wilson garbage that greased the wheels of the Iraq invasion juggernaut are now more willing to believe almost anybody over Bush. Maybe, at long last, we can stop worrying about the Bushco™ beast now it looks about as ferocious as an aged, toothless tiger with hip dysplasia growling impotently from its rusty cage while small children poke it with sticks. Oh, wait... (Link to this)

Fried Wire finds a seat on the Ron Paul bandwagon. And, from Birkenstockers to rednecks, it sure is crowded...

As support for Republicrat front runners Ghouliani and Clinton continues to rot away, thus reflecting the electorate's general disgust with both parties, Ron Paul's star continues to rise. He's now on 8% with New Hampshire Republican voters according to the latest polls and continuing to erode support for the front runners with glacial tenacity. Sure, 8% might sound shit, but just ask conservative "great white hope" Fred Thompson if he'd like to trade his 3% with him.

I'd love to hate Ron Paul. But, much to the scorn of my liberal buddies, I can't help thinking he's the only honest pol left in America and the only one who isn't a neocon/neolib corporate clone. And much as it may sicken me to imagine voting for a Republican, I am only one of many instinctual Dem voters whose lazy loyalty has been stretched to breaking point by the prospect of a pro-Zionist, pro-Iran-war, pro-pretty-much-everything-Bush-stands-for Clinton winning the nomination. She is living proof that you can't just stick a Democrat label on literally anything and expect it to sell. But if Paul were to lose the Republican nomination (well... duh) and run as an independent?

In that scenario, it's highly likely that enough ideological liberals would turn out for him that the Democrat vote would be fatally split. Ron Paul could do to the Dems what Ross Perot did to the Republicans when Pa Bush ran for reelection in 1992. And, much as it might sound like the stuff of nightmares to risk handing the presidency to Ghouliani, what difference would there really be between him and Clinton anyway? We'd be facing WWIII and more of the same constitution-shredding neocon bullshit either way, so what would really be lost?

Right now, the only hope for something better than what we have is Ron Paul. And as much as both sides of the extremely narrow spectrum wishfully dismiss him as a Kucinich-style no-hoper, he could just win. Perot, that other Texas "maverick", got 19% of the popular vote in a three horse race. And he was a four-foot-tall lunatic with Yoda ears. (Link to this)

"Four gay men, willing to put their names in print and whose allegations can't be disproved, have come forward since news of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig's guilty plea."

--Idaho Statesman

Here are four guys whose blackmail checks seem to have got lost in the postal system:

David Phillips is a 42-year-old information technology consultant in Washington, D.C., who says Craig picked him up at a gay club in 1986.

Mike Jones is a former prostitute (and Ted Haggard nemesis) who says Craig paid him for sex in late 2004 or early 2005.

Greg Ruth was a 24-year-old college Republican in 1981 when he says he was hit on by Craig at a Republican meeting.

Tom Russell, now 48, is a former Nampa resident who lives in Utah. Russell said his encounter with Craig occurred at Bogus Basin in the early 1980s.

(Link to this)

Scary times indeed for virtual loudmouths such as myself...

It begins, "AN ACT - To prevent homegrown terrorism, and for other purposes." Those whose pulse did not quicken at "other purposes" have probably not read George Orwell's essay, "Politics and the English Language."

--Robert Weitzel, mwcnews.net

Our Congress has passed a new Democrat-crafted law called the "Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act" by a Stalinesque 405 to 6 rubber stamp vote. And it's a doozy.

This creepy raft of First Amendment-menacing laws is aimed ostensibly at combating "homegrown terrorism." But it has a huge potential for ushering in a dark new chapter in American history by making thought crime a reality. For the first time, free speech will be officially filtered by the government and subject to criminal prosecution. The bill defines "homegrown terrorism" as:

Obviously, this wording has a lot of useful elasticity built in and could easily be used to shut down any lowly blog just for ranting about the government (or a future Ghouliani or Clinton regime). Worse still, its author could be jailed for seeking to "intimidate or coerce the United States government." If I said, for example, "the president is a disaster and should be thrown out of office" I'd be in danger of contravening the Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act. It would no longer be necessary to fabricate any absent intent to physically terrorize the government: now our rulers could arrest anyone just for "terrorizing" them emotionally like a bunch of premenstrual fascists.

This act is another sign of how much our elected representatives hate and fear the free internet. Unless it's being used for raising campaign funds or spreading useful lies about rivals, there's nothing an elected likes less than an anonymous venue for the exercise of constitutionally protected free speech. (Link to this)

Why is this fraudulent greaseball's nomination still on the table? Have we disappeared so far up the u-bend that this is the best we can come up with for a leader (or the best I can come up with for a headline)? God help us.

The voices of reason are doing their best to bring down Ghouliani by publicizing his manifold transgressions - most recently his business dealings with the "Terrorist-tolerant" nation of Qatar. It certainly doesn't sit well with the loathsome fraud's fake Captain America image or his tough talk about combating Islamic terror that he's made millions working for the folks that brought you al Qaeda.

But are any of those hare-brained "Go Rudy" freaks actually going to give a fuck when his closet's already got more skeletons in it than the Capuchin Catacombs? Shit just slides off his teflon scalp because all he has to do is recite those magic numbers "9-11" at every opportunity and he's golden.

"I screwed around on my wife at the taxpayers' expense" might sound bad. But just figure out how to wind "9-11" into that sentence and presto... you're still America's Mayor. See if you can spot the odd one out in this Rudy 2008 true or false quiz:

Keith Olbermann might think that awkward handshake photo op should damage Ghouliani's electability. And in a sane world where the cards aren't stacked against common sense it would. But doesn't it seem eerily reminiscent of that old Saddam meets Rumsfeld pic from the 80s? Think about all the damage that did to Rumsfeld's reputation as a ruthless foe of Saddam's Iraq. Or not. (Link to this)