C–Spam August-October 2005

DELAY ACCUSED OF CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY (AGAIN)
September 28, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay was indicted by a Texas grand jury (PDF) Wednesday on a charge of conspiring to violate political fundraising laws, forcing him to temporarily step aside from his GOP post. He is the highest-ranking member of Congress ever to face criminal prosecution. Criminal conspiracy is a Texas felony punishable by six months to two years in a state jail and a fine of up to $10,000. (Yahoonews.com)

DeLay's involvement in a fraudulent scheme to launder money for the Texas Republicans is a serious charge and should be a major embarrassment for the seemingly unembarrassable Bush government. But DeLay and his supporters, men of honor that they are, are not fessing up, shutting up or stepping down. Instead, they are portraying the Grease Meister as yet another oppressed target of the liberal activist player-haters:

Tom Delay is a Man and Ronnie Earle is a Dog
"Another story I heard was that Ronnie Earle went to a Democratic fund raiser and drew applause when he told them he was going to go after Tom Delay [sic]. If these allegations are true they suggest that Earle has abandoned all pretense of impartiality. It suggest [sic] that this prosecutor has abandoned the first obligation of a prosecutor, to seek justice; and that he is selectively and vindictively prosecuting this case against Tom Delay, predicated on the fact that he is a Republican. This is no less repugnant and un-American than pursuing a case against a person simply because he is black or Jewish." (Conservativevoice.com)

So it would seem that the prosecutor is just another one of those activists. Just like those anti-criminal prosecutors who 'vindictively' prosecute child molesters because they don't like pedophiles, or those who 'abandon all pretense of impartiality' and victimize murderers for killing people. So what to believe? Facts would seem to differ cuntservative 'reality.' Those damn' activist facts:

Grand jury foreman cites "stacks" of evidence against DeLay
Grand jurors were presented a load of evidence, including testimony and phone records, that led them to believe Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, should be tried on a conspiracy charge, the leader of the Travis County grand jury that indicted the congressman said yesterday. DeLay, who stepped down as House majority leader when the indictment was issued Wednesday.

[DeLay's] lawyers maintain he knew nothing about the money exchange at the time it happened and the indictment is a political vendetta against him. But in the first public acknowledgments of what evidence against DeLay might exist, Gibson, 76, a former sheriff's deputy and state insurance investigator, said there were ample indications of the congressman's involvement. (Seattle Times)

GAY PENGUIN GOES STRAIGHT – 700 CLUB REJOICES
September 27, 2005 (NEW YORK, New York)

Zookeepers at the Central Park Zoo in New York are scratching their heads after the animal kingdom's most beloved gay couple, the penguins Silo and Roy, has split up. To make the case even more obscure, Silo decided to pull an Anne Heche and hook up with a member of the opposite sex instead. "Silo and Roy stopped spending as much time together or building a nest," John Rowden, the zoo's head curator, told The New York Post. Silo promptly moved in with Scrappy, building a new nest with her. (Bgay.com)

INCOMPETENT TWAT PASSES BUCK
September 27, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

Former FEMA director Michael Brown aggressively defended his role in responding to Hurricane Katrina on Tuesday and put much of the blame for coordination failures on Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. "My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana was dysfunctional," Brown told a special congressional panel set up by House Republican leaders to investigate the catastrophe. (Associated Press)

PNAC NOW A CHARITY
September 26, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

$200 billion in taxes isn't enough? USAID launches an online venture to solicit donations from the American public for rebuilding projects in Iraq.

The nearly $200 billion that American taxpayers have already ponied up for the war in Iraq -- including $30 billion earmarked specifically for reconstruction projects (more than $28 billion higher than Team Bush originally projected) -- is apparently not enough to get the job done. Now, the brain trust running the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) has come up with a new fundraising plan that asks the American public to dig a little deeper into their pockets in order to help rebuild Iraq.

"Note: Due to security concerns, this site does not provide specific information on project leaders, project locations, and beneficiaries." says the Web site. In other words, they want your money and you don't get to know where it goes. So it'll be treated like tax money then?

CLINTON DISSES POTUS
September 20, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

It has always been considered bad form for an ex-president to criticize a sitting president so, therefore, Bill Clinton has always refrained from going public with his opinion of Bush. At least until today.

"What Americans need to understand is that ... every single day of the year, our government goes into the market and borrows money from other countries to finance Iraq, Afghanistan, Katrina, and our tax cuts. We have never done this before. Never in the history of our republic have we ever financed a conflict, military conflict, by borrowing money from somewhere else.

"We depend on Japan, China, the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, and Korea primarily to basically loan us money every day of the year to cover my tax cut and these conflicts and Katrina. I don't think it makes any sense. I think it's wrong." (speaking on NBC News) (story)

KOZLOWSKI'S FUCKED
September 19, 2005 (NEW YORK, New York)

A New York state judge slapped the convicted former Tyco CEO with a stiff sentence Monday. Dennis Kozlowski, corporate thief, could still be in jail when he's 83. Kozlowski and his associate, former finance chief Mark Swartz, each were sentenced to 8 1/3 to 25 years for stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from the company. They were also ordered to fork over $134 million in restitution as well.

Tom Dewey, a securities attorney in New York City, expressed little surprise at the stiff penalties. However, he did say the convictions stand out in one important way. "This is the first time that high-profile corporate defendants have been sentenced to state prison," he noted, "which is a much more difficult place to be doing time" than the federal prison system. (Associated Press) Especially if you're a weasely, middle-aged ex-millionaire. How I laughed...

EUCH...
September 13, 2005 (IASI, Romania)

Just what is it about Romanian women and mobile phones? Back in April, we reported on the sticky case of 34-year-old Ruxandra Gardian who attempted to make good her escape with a phone concealed in her vagina. Unfortunately for her, quick-thinking cops simply rang the thing and the game was up. We suggested at the time that turning it off would have been a good plan, but as several readers pointed out, that would have then required the PIN to reactivate the phone. Fair enough, put it on vibrate then. Forget it, suggested several female readers, for obvious reasons.

Now Petronela Brandus, 24, has become the latest "body cavity phone blagger" to have her collar felt after police stopped the suspected thief as she got off a bus in Iasi. Passengers had apparently seen the 24-year-old lift the device, but cops could find no trace of it. In the time-honoured fashion, they then rang the number and heard the tell-tale sound of internal phone action. In this case, however, Brandus had not gone for the relatively-simple vaginal option, but rather the less convenient back passage route. (theRegister.co.uk)

MICROSOFT GO PSYCHO
September 12, 2005 (REDMOND, Washington)

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer vowed to "kill" Google in an expletitive-laced, chair-throwing tirade when a senior engineer told him he was leaving the company to go work for Google, the engineer claimed in court documents made public on Friday.

In a sworn statement made public Friday, Mark Lucovsky, another Microsoft senior engineer who left for Google in November 2004, recounted Ballmer's angry reaction when Lucovsky told Ballmer he was going to work for the search engine company.

"At some point in the conversation, Mr. Ballmer said: 'Just tell me it's not Google,'" Lucovosky said in his statement. Lucovosky replied that he was joining Google. "At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office," Lucovosky recounted, adding that Ballmer then launched into a tirade about Google CEO Eric Schmidt. "I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Google." Schmidt previously worked for Sun Microsystems and was the CEO of Novell. (CNET News.com)

DOCTOR'S ORDERS
September 10, 2005 (GULFPORT, Mississippi)

The emergency room physician who told Vice President Dick Cheney to "go fuck himself" was selling a video of the incident on eBay, with the price rising to nearly $700 before it was removed by administrators. On the removed auction page, physician Ben Marble wrote about losing his home in Hurricane Katrina and returning to examine the wreckage on the day that Cheney was in town talking to the press. Marble approached the outdoor press conference and took a picture of Cheney before yelling "Go fuck yourself Mr. Cheney ....Go fuck yourself....Go fuck yourself...you asshole." (RawStory.com) (movie)

WORST PRESIDENT EVER GOOGLED
September 8, 2005 (THE INTERNET)

Enter the phrase "worst president ever" in Google and hit enter. Today you will find George W. Bush's official bio page at Whitehouse.gov appearing first on the list of 21,800,000 results. Someone out there has spent a lot of time entering the search phrase and hitting the whitehouse.gov link many, many times for this to happen. I say good work, obssessive Bush hater, from one to another.

OPERATION CAJUN FREEDOM
September 8, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana)

There is strong evidence that aid was deliberately withheld by the White House and the Pentagon as part of a strategy for asserting unfettered military control over the city of New Orleans. Both hurricane victims and public officials have given multiple accounts of US authorities actively turning back aid and blocking rescue attempts in the days that followed the breaching of the city’s levees.

Aaron Broussard, president of Jefferson Parish, for example, broke down in tears Sunday during an appearance on the NBC television program "Meet the Press," declaring, "Bureaucracy has committed murder here in the greater New Orleans area." He cited repeated actions by FEMA that involved the deliberate sabotage of relief efforts. He reported that FEMA turned back trailer truckloads of water sent by Wal-Mart, claiming the city didn’t need them. He also said that the Coast Guard’s offer of fuel urgently needed to power generators was countermanded by FEMA.

Finally, he said that just a day earlier FEMA agents had come in and "cut all of our emergency communication lines" without any warning. The local sheriff, he added, had the lines reconnected and then posted armed guards to see that they were not cut again. This last, and most sinister, example is in keeping with the Pentagon’s "information war" doctrine, which demands the complete control of communications in an area targeted for invasion and occupation. There were also reports that the Red Cross was prevented from going into the city and that FEMA refused to allow the unloading of food, water and medical supplies brought by ships into New Orleans harbor.

The apparent aim of this organized obstructionist behavior by the agency that is supposedly charged with coordinating relief was to block any significant aid until the military could intervene in the city with overwhelming force. This came on Friday, with military commanders treating New Orleans as a combat operation. This was the term used by Brig. Gen. Gary Jones, commander of the Louisiana National Guard’s Joint Task Force, in an interview with the Army Times. "This place is going to look like Little Somalia," said General Jones. "We’re going to go out and take this city back. This will be a combat operation to get this city under control."

The newspaper clearly got the message, referring in its report to troops coming in to "fight the insurgency in the city." (Asian Tribune)

MILF SENATOR THREATENS TO PUNCH BUSH
September 7, 2005 (NEW YORK, NY)

Senator Mary Landrieu, the Democrat of Louisiana (whose father was a mayor of New Orleans), appears to have finally found her voice after offering only cautious criticism of the federal relief effort in the hurricane catastrophe earlier in the week. Today she promised to literally "punch" anyone, "including the president," who continued to question the local response to the tragedy, considering the gross federal misconduct.

Appearing on ABC's "The Week" TV program this morning, Senator Landrieu still appeared to be smarting from President Bush's comments, during his national radio address, that state and local bore a fair share of blame for the slow response. On a copter tour of the area, Landrieu said that if she heard any more criticism from federal officials, particularly about the evacuation of New Orleans, she might lose control. (Editor & Publisher)

But it wasn't just Democrats who were pissed. Trent Lott, whose house went bye-bye during Hurricane Katrina, somehow didn't have the stomach to join in with the Republican wall of lies:

Mississippi Republican Sen. Trent Lott couldn't help himself. He began attacking another Republican -- beleaguered FEMA director Michael Brown. "If he doesn't solve a couple of problems that we've got right now, he ain't going to be able to hold a job because what I'm going to do to him, ain't going to be pretty," he says.

YAHOO! SECRET POLICE
September 7, 2005 (SUNNYVALE, California)

French media watchdog Reporters Without Borders said yesterday that information provided by Internet powerhouse Yahoo! helped Chinese authorities convict and jail writer Shi Tao, who had penned an e-mail about press restrictions.

Yahoo! and two of its biggest rivals, Google and Microsoft's MSN, previously have come under attack for censoring online news sites and Web logs, or blogs, that include content that China's communist government wants to suppress.

Reporters Without Borders said court papers showed that Yahoo Holdings (Hong Kong) Ltd. gave Chinese investigators information that helped them trace a personal Yahoo! e-mail allegedly containing state secrets to Tao's computer. (Seattle Times)

TRAITOR, LIAR AND ILLEGAL VOTER?
September 6, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) sent a complaint to Texas State Director of Elections Ann McGeehan urging an investigation into whether Karl Rove, violated Texas state law by illegally registering as a voter in Kerr County, Texas.

Mr. Rove and his wife, Darby, registered to vote in Kerr County in 2003 after they sold their Austin, Texas home. County property records show that Mr. Rove and his wife have owned two tiny rental cottages in Kerr County since 1997, the largest of which is only 814 square feet and is valued by the county at $25,000. In contrast, the Rove's Washington, D.C. home is valued at over $1.1 million. Local residents have stated that they have never seen Rove in the area.

"The possibility that one of President Bush's top advisors, Karl Rove, has lied about his residence, thereby violating Texas law, must be investigated," Melanie Sloan, executive director of CREW said today. "Regardless of Mr. Rove's position, he is not above the law." Texas law provides that making a false statement on a voter registration form is a Class B misdemeanor. (CREW Press Release)

But...
When South Dakotans voted against Sen. Tom Daschle last November, one of the things that played into that decision was a homestead deduction he claimed on his home in Washington, D.C. It was the subject of a series of ads by John Thune for Senate campaign that essentially questioned his commitment to the state.

The Washington Post now reports that Karl Rove has a similar predicament. The newspaper reported this past week: "Karl Rove may live in Washington. But in his heart and for voting purposes, he remains a Texan. Which means he is not legally entitled to the homestead-deduction and property-tax cap he’s been getting on his Washington home for the past three years. (argusleader.com)

KEEPING SCHTUM TIL KARL TELLS THEM WHAT TO SAY
September 6, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

White House tells officials not to respond to attacks about relief efforts
Under the command of President Bush's two senior political advisers, the White House this weekend rolled out a plan to contain the political damage from the administration's response to Hurricane Katrina. Bush...directed administration officials not to respond to attacks from Democrats on the relief efforts, and sought to move the blame for the slow response to Louisiana state officials, according to Republicans familiar with the White House plan.

The effort is being directed by Bush's chief political adviser, Karl Rove, and his communications director, Dan Bartlett. It began late last week after congressional Republicans called White House officials to register alarm about what they saw as a feeble response by Bush to the hurricane, according to Republican congressional aides. (New York Times)

REHNQUIST CROAKS, PAT ROBERTSON SAYS "WATCH OUT, CHAVEZ."
September 4, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

President George W Bush has pledged to move quickly to appoint a successor to US Chief Justice William Rehnquist, who died from cancer on Sunday, aged 80. He praised him for his "powerful intellect" and "profound sense of duty." (Associated Press)

Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson asked followers to pray for Supreme Court openings, widely interpreted as a prayer for the death of sitting justices. (Seattlepi.com)

BUSH STAGES FAKE HELP PHOTO OP
September 4, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana)

"Yesterday, I was hoping President Bush would come away from his tour of the regional devastation triggered by Hurricane Katrina with a new understanding for the magnitude of the suffering and for the abject failures of the current Federal Emergency Management Agency. Twenty-four hours later, the President has yet to answer my call for a cabinet-level official to lead our efforts. Meanwhile, FEMA, now a shell of what it once was, continues to be overwhelmed by the task at hand.

"I understand that the U.S. Forest Service had water-tanker aircraft available to help douse the fires raging on our riverfront, but FEMA has yet to accept the aid. When Amtrak offered trains to evacuate significant numbers of victims - far more efficiently than buses - FEMA again dragged its feet. Offers of medicine, communications equipment and other desperately needed items continue to flow in, only to be ignored by the agency.

"But perhaps the greatest disappointment stands at the breached 17th Street levee. Touring this critical site yesterday with the President, I saw what I believed to be a real and significant effort to get a handle on a major cause of this catastrophe. Flying over this critical spot again this morning, less than 24 hours later, it became apparent that yesterday we witnessed a hastily prepared stage set for a Presidential photo opportunity; and the desperately needed resources we saw were this morning reduced to a single, lonely piece of equipment. The good and decent people of southeast Louisiana and the Gulf Coast - black and white, rich and poor, young and old - deserve far better from their national government."

—Senator Mary Landrieu, D-La. (bellaciao.org)

DEMOCRACY NOW?
September 4, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

The government is withholding more information than ever from the public and expanding ways of shrouding data. For each $1 spent declassifying old secrets, federal agencies last year spent a record $148 creating and storing new secrets, a coalition of watchdog groups reported yesterday. Overall, the government spent $7.2 billion in 2004 stamping 15.6 million documents "top secret," "secret" or "confidential." That almost doubled the 8.6 million new documents classified as recently as 2001.

J. William Leonard, director of the National Archives' Information Security Oversight Office, which monitors classification, said, "the great lesson of 9/11 is that improper hoarding of information can cost lives and harm national security. Such unchecked secrecy threatens accountability in government."

"The volume and impact of these pseudo-classifications is growing," and they inhibit the "free flow of critical information." said Rep. Christopher Shays, Connecticut Republican and chairman of the House national security subcommittee. (Associated Press)

THE FAIRY QUEEN FLIES BY
September 2, 2005 (CRAWFORD, Texas)

Bush Administration Senior Political Advisor and Deputy Chief of Staff, Karl Rove made a surprise sunset visit to the half-dozen or so Bush supporters camped across the street from "Camp Casey" in Crawford, Texas.

Rove did not meet with any of the dozens of Iraq and Afghan war vets, nor the Gold Star Family members present in Crawford to support Sheehan. Bush's top political advisor completed his quick early evening photo-op, after which several "Bush Supporters" who reportedly were present especially for the occasion, promptly got in their vehicles and left the Bush side of the street according to one of the volunteer security guards who was standing watch at the Sheehan camp.

Will Marean, a blogger and right-wing activist who spent several nights camping with Bush supporters across the street from Sheehan's camp, said, "We were all happy -- we were literally giddy -- to meet Karl Rove. And then he proceeded to say he was glad that we were there and we were happy to say that we supported our President and supported our troops." (Full story at bradblog.com)

Fried Wire talking points:

IRAQ: $191 BILLION
NEW ORLEANS: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN...
September 1, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana)

On Wednesday, Mayor Ray Nagin offered the most startling estimate yet of the magnitude of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. Asked how many people died in New Orleans, he said: "Minimum, hundreds. Most likely, thousands." The death toll has already reached at least 126 in Mississippi.

"This is a national emergency. This is a national disgrace," said Terry Ebbert, head of the city's emergency operations. "FEMA has been here three days, yet there is no command and control. We can send massive amounts of aid to tsunami victims, but we can't bail out the city of New Orleans?"

Elsewhere in the city, an old man in a chaise lounge lay dead in a grassy median as hungry babies wailed around him. Around the corner, an elderly woman lay dead in her wheelchair, covered with a blanket, and another body lay beside her wrapped in a sheet. "I don't treat my dog like that," 47-year-old Daniel Edwards said as he pointed at the woman in the wheelchair. "I buried my dog." He added: "You can do everything for other countries but you can't do nothing for your own people. You can go overseas with the military but you can't get them down here?" (Associated Press)

Secretary of State responds to crisis
"Just moments ago at the Ferragamo on 5th Avenue, Condoleeza Rice was seen spending several thousands of dollars on some nice, new shoes. A fellow shopper, unable to fathom the absurdity of Rice’s timing, went up to the Secretary and reportedly shouted, "How dare you shop for shoes while thousands are dying and homeless!" Never one to have her fashion choices questioned, Rice had security PHYSICALLY REMOVE the woman. (Gawker.com)

YAHOO! SPOT THE DIFFERENCE COMPETITION
August 30, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Lousiana)

Wednesday's Yahoo! news picture gallery showed photos of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The picture on the left was captioned: "local residents wade through chest-deep water after finding bread and soda from a local grocery store." The second picture (note ethnicity) was captioned: "A young man walks through chest deep flood water after looting a grocery store in New Orleans on Tuesday." (news.yahoo.com)

Today the picture on the left was removed by Yahoo! after the bloggers started talking about the 'clumsy' captioning. Err... How come they remove the nice picture but still leave the black "looter" up?

"TERRISTS" CATCH HELL
August 26, 2005 (LA HABRA, California)

The lives of Randy and Ronnell Vorick and their three children have been plunged into an unsettling routine of drivers shouting profanities, stopping to photograph their house and — most recently — spray-painting a slogan on their property after it was wrongly identified in a cable news broadcast as the home of a terrorist.

"I'm scared to go to work and leave my kids home. I call them every 30 minutes to make sure they're OK," Randy Vorick said. "I keep telling myself this can't be happening to me. This can't be happening to my family. But it is. I want our lives to be normal again," he said.

In what Fox News officials concede was a mistake, John Loftus, a former U.S. prosecutor, gave out the address Aug. 7, saying it was the home of a Middle Eastern man, Iyad K. Hilal, who was the leader of a terrorist group with ties to those responsible for the July 7 bombings in London.

Last weekend, someone spray-painted "Terrist" on their home. Police, who have regularly patrolled their house since the day after the broadcast, now station a squad car across the street. The Voricks said they had made several unsuccessful attempts to contact Fox News and Loftus by telephone and e-mail. They want a public apology and correction. (LA Times)

GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE STORIES...
August 25, 2005 (CORONA, California)

Sami Habbas was sifting through his stack of mail when he noticed a credit-card offer addressed to "Palestinian bomber". The stunned Palestinian-American, a US Army veteran, opened the letter, which began, "Dear Palestinian bomber".

"I thought it was a joke or something," he said. "I'm very sad - devastated." Habbas, who lives in Corona, California, phoned J P Morgan Chase and Company, which sent the offer, and two operators addressed him the same way: "Yes, Mr Bomber, what can we do for you?" (Washington Post)

BUSH LESS POPULAR THAN NIXON
August 22, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)

A new ARG poll has President Bush below the 40 percent approval mark at 36. At this point of his second term, Clinton was at 59 percent. Reagan was at 60 percent. Nixon at 39. (Associated Press)

CUE CHOIR: IT'S CHRISTIAN VALUES TIME!
August 22, 2005 (CARACAS, Venezuela)

Venezuela's vice president accused religious broadcaster Pat Robertson on Tuesday of making "terrorist statements" by suggesting that American agents assassinate President Hugo Chavez.

On Monday, Robertson said on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The 700 Club": "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Chavez has survived a brief 2002 coup, a devastating two-month strike that ended in early 2003 and recall referendum in 2004. The former army paratroop commander, a close ally of Cuban leader Fidel Castro, is up for re-election next year, and polls suggest he is the favorite. (Associated Press)

ABOUT FOUR INCHES I'M GUESSING...
August 21, 2005 (LOS ANGELES, California)

Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Connelly, who starred in 'A Beautiful Mind', has revealed that she likes to read or shop online during sex with her husband Paul Bettany. "I do like to read a book while having sex and talk on the phone. You can get so much done."

She added: "If the room's dark enough, I like to do some online shopping." (Ananova.com)

LOVE IS IN THE AIR
August 19, 2005 (LOS ANGELES, California)

Diva Mariah Carey is furious with rapper Eminem for playing intimate voice messages she left for him to large audiences during his 'Anger Management' tour. Carey allegedly left the voice mail for Eminem when he worked with her on her 2001 'Charmbracelet' album.

The messages feature Mariah saying: "I heard you were getting back with your ex-wife. Why won't you see me? Why won't you call me? You're not calling me." After which '8 Mile' star Eminem pretended to vomit into a prop toilet before going into his song 'Puke' which has lyrics such as "you make me sick". (iafrica.com)

CUSTOMER SERVICE - COMCAST STYLE
August 17, 2005 (PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania)

LaChania Govan said she got bounced around by her cable company when she called to complain. She made dozens of calls and was even transferred to a person who spoke Spanish — a language she doesn't understand. But when she got her August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch Dog."

"I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss." Comcast officials said it shouldn't have happened.

"We only use the actual customers names on the bill," said Patricia Andrews-Keenan, a Comcast spokeswoman. Company officials went through the records and identified two people who were involved with the name change and fired them, Andrews-Keenan said. It's unknown why the employees did it.

In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes." "I had no bad words at all. I guess the earliest letter is dated in May and from then on up until now my name has been listed as Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes and I have no idea why." (Associated Press)

BLESS. THEY JUST CAN'T HELP IT IN MISSISSIPPI
August 17, 2005 (PHILADELPHIA, Mississippi)

Edgar Ray Killen, ex recruiter and organizer for the Neshoba and Lauderdale County Klan, finally got convicted for his part in the killing of three civil rights workers (Michael Schwerner, James Chaney and Andrew Goodman) 41 years late this year. But 80-year Killen is now out on bail pending an appeal, which could take over a year, after serving only two months of his 60-year sentence. This is in spite of:

Threatening the life of a black prison guard
A relative threatening to kill the trial court judge and "other individuals in the court"
An anonymous caller threatening to bomb the court during his trial

Mississippi's Attorney General has challenged the judge's decision. In an emergency petition to the state Supreme Court on Monday night, Atty. Gen. Jim Hood argued that Killen remained a violent and dangerous man. But James McIntyre, Killen's lawyer, said Hood was inappropriately raising new charges and he expected Killen to remain free until the Supreme Court reached a decision on his appeal. You threaten to kill the judge and he lets you go? Them good ol' boys sure do stick together. (LA Times, WLBT3.com, law.umkc.edu)

INTER-SPECIES SEX ROMP ENDS BADLY
August 15, 2005 (ENUMCLAW, Washington)

In a picture-perfect corner of rural King County, Sheriff's investigators uncovered a dirty little mess: Men having sex with animals at a small farm outside of Enumclaw.

The private gatherings became public when a 45-year-old Seattle man died of peritonitis from a split colon after having sex with an Arabian stallion. "If this pans out, it's the most egregious case that we've heard of," says Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff's Office. "We don't have deaths that result from this activity, nobody can remember when anything like this has ever happened." (Seattle Times)

LAZY BULGARS
August 12, 2005 (SOFIA, Bulgaria)

A third of Bulgaria's MPs took off during a parliamentary debate - on school truancy. A spot check found a third of MPs who voted on the issue were not present, and had registered their votes by giving their Parliamentary passes to fellow MPs.

MP Assen Agov said the practice of absentee voting made a nonsense of parliamentary debates. But his proposal to upgrade the vote identification system to stop MPs voting for friends was postponed due to poor attendance. (Ananova.com)

SHOWING THEIR TRUE COLORS
August 14, 2005 (CRAWFORD, Texas)

The Gold Star mothers supporting Cindy Sheehan in Crawford are chanting "Bush lied! Soldiers died!" Counter-protesters (the "pro-America crowd") respond by chanting "WE DON’T CARE!" (dailykos.com)

IT'S A BITCH COMING UP, BUT FAST TO GET DOWN...
August 14, 2005 (SYDNEY, Australia)

New toilet facilities have been built near the top of 7,310 foot high Mount Kosciuszko, mainland Australia's tallest mountain, including one stall with wheelchair access. (Chicago Sun-Times)

WE CALL IT 'RENDITION', THE WORLD CALLS IT 'KIDNAPPING'
August 13, 2005 (ROME, Italy)

Italian prosecutors again sought arrest warrants Wednesday for six additional CIA operatives who they say took part in the abduction two years ago of a radical Islamic cleric.

If granted, the prosecutors' request would bring to 19 the number of CIA personnel formally charged with the kidnapping in February 2003 of Osama Moustafa Hassan Nasr, better known as Abu Omar, which involved transporting [him] from Milan to an Italian-U.S. air base at Aviano, Italy, from there to another air base in Germany and finally to Cairo.

An Egyptian by birth, Abu Omar had been granted political asylum in Italy and was given the opportunity of returning to Milan if he agreed to inform for the Egyptian intelligence service. Abu Omar refused the offer and was tortured by the Egyptians. According to his family and his Egyptian attorney, the 42-year-old Muslim cleric remains in an Egyptian prison, though he is not charged with a crime. (chicagotribune.com)

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